Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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morgal 02/25/2013

I am almost 3.5 months into this horrible journey we have all found ourselves on and I find that I have a compelling need to be in my home or at least close to it. My in-laws keep asking me to come to Florida for some sun, they think it will do me good. But I feel like I can't be that far from home for a length of time. I feel as though I will be leaving Mike. Does anyone else feel this way?

drivera83 02/25/2013

You are definitely not alone in that. I'm almost at my 3 month mark and I feel the same exact way. It's weird how you think your leaving them if you leave your home. I'll get anxiety if I'm out of my house too long. Plus home is your safe zone, I get it. I'm hoping with time it gets a little easier.

Peace,
Dyana

Shrn 02/25/2013

Oh yes, I found myself feeling the same way you describe and in the early months it isn't uncommon. There are many thoughts on this, but it always returns to doing what you feel is right to you. If you want to remain home, indulge yourself and do it. I just have to caution you that small trips to the store, a quiet place you enjoy, or another outing to a friends is necessary. Sitting alone is good, but can lead to serious depression.

You are grieving and lost. I know, been there. Do what you need for you but also take a walk when you can and get out. Sharon

MJ46 02/25/2013

Last weekend was the first time I left home since my wifes accident 3 weeks ago There was quite a bit of anxiety about leaving. I was able to enjoy being with family who live 4 hrs away.There were grand nieces and nephews whose presence lifted my spirits. Overall these were the best days I have had so far. Leaving home gave me a few good days, I recommend it. Of course coming back to the empty house was a downer and I'm alone again with the memories but the trip was worth it.

deleted_user 02/25/2013

Yes, home is still my safe place--my comfort zone. Other than work and the normal places we all have to go--and taking the grandkids to the movies a few times--to the lake for an afternoon or the park-I have gone few places since Steve passed--never overnight at all. I know it's time for me to start to venture out more--but I think home will always be my safe place.
Wanda

morgal 02/25/2013

Thank you all for your replies to my post. I do try to get out of the house every day. I just have no interest in going away for any length of time. I feel like at the end of the day, I NEED to be in my home, OUR home.

alwaysafraid61 02/28/2013

As they say home is where the heart is & that is certainly true for me, I go to work everyday & occasionally socialize with friends & family but there really is no better feeling for me than when I'm in my house surrounded by everything I shared with my husband, that's where I feel the most safe, secure & comfortable & even though he's not physically here with me anymore I still feel his presence & that's very comforting to me......................................Kim

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