Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I recently lost my husband of 29 years enexpectly. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye because there were no visitors allowed during Covid. I lost my best friend and it so challenging to assume the roles he assumed. I am still employed full time and have to take care of everything... bills, gind someone to cut the grass, find auto repair people, plumbers, etc...Our adult children live out of state. I have a good support system but no one in it has lost a spouse. Can anyone relate?
You came to the right place! Many here can relate, listen and share. I have also had success with the local grief group, through my church, so that is another possible avenue.
I lost my wife of 26 years, also suddenly. It has been 350 days. The worst days of my life!
At first I just wanted to kill myself, and luckily my family gave me enough of a reason not to.
Then it hurt so much, that I wished I could die, Having made the decision not to kill myself, every day I wished I could die. That’s when I was lucky enough to find a local grief group and a few friendly widowed people who helped me to feel like some days I did not want to die. Helping them and having fellowship was the key. Widowed people get it like no one else can!!
I have a tough couple of months ahead, but once again in this journey I have had fortune. Fortune is strange thing to think about, when I think this journey is all about loss and grieving. Again through connections with kind and caring people, through this very site, I have been able to have optimism about what the future holds.
The reason I lay out my tale like this, is when I am at a group meeting or on this site, I tend to look at the stories I hear as cautionary tales of life destroyed by grief. But then I look at my own journey and others and I try to look at the gifts that have come along the way, and I want to share that side of the story with you.
I’m definitely not ‘there’, I can’t give you a timeline for you or for me. It will take the time it takes, and you may hear over and over be kind to yourself. Please do be kind to yourself and give yourself every break, you deserve them and they will come.
You’ve already started to find your ‘fortune’ I hope by coming here, and hopefully there are other resources for you where widowed people can be reached locally.
Today was not a good day for me, a melancholy weepy mood for me to match the weather where I am.
These type of days still come often. When they do I try my best to remember I’ve come a long way, and things are better than they were.
Thank you for sharing and giving me a chance to share a little of how I see things so far in my journey.
Joe
I am so sorry for your loss and totally empathise all the other things that pop up to make things harder by dealing with the tasks that 'he' would normally take care of. It is hard but it will get better. I know right now that is hard to believe. It was for me too. I struggle daily as we were best friends and partners. He spoiled me and took care of everyrhing which left at times I feel a useless dependent half of a person with out my better half.
I agree with Grimmer, you need to reach out and you will find solace and support. Coming here was one of the best decisions I made as I too have found hope and friendship, understanding and empathy in the storm kf grief.
You are not alone. You can get through this. Wishing and hoping for brighter days for you DT
Rose x