My heart aches for you. It sounds as if you did everything in YOUR power to help your wife make better choices. But reality is: while we often have to suffer the consequences of other persons' bad, unwise...even stupid choices...everybody makes their OWN choices.

It's unfair to ourselves to feel guilty or responsible for any choices that we don't have the Power to make.

I think 'Fear of the Unknown" is the reason some people are scared of death. I may be wrong. I have been wrong a few times. :-)

I am sorry for your loss.

I also tried to get my husband to do a carotid artery test (he cancelled one but never did) He went to Colorado a higher altitude than us and had a massive heart attack Blocked artery SO I always was mad at him he did not do it but than I figured if God wanted him that day it would have been something else. And I realized his choice not mine.

I am sorry she was afraid to die - being at peace I believe helps.

SO here is a hug to you from WA state

And now she knows...................Death is NOT the end, but a beginning of a new chapter. She is at peace now, healed and whole, as you must also become. It is a difficult time for you.

So sorry what you are going through. I did the same with my husband after he had a heart attack three years ago, and stent placement. Always at him to change his lifestyle, to quit smoking and to eat healthier, but it fell on deaf ears. This year in Feb. he had a massive heart attack and i found him dead out in the garage. We can only try and help them but can't do it for them, that's the sad part of it all.
Just know in your heart you did the best you could to help your wife, but ultimately it was her decision, and all we can do is keep on loving them and to live in this world without them the best we can.