I am so very sorry for your loss. We all know the devastation you must be feeling. This is a good site to come and express yourself. Losing our partners is the hardest thing we will do and having others who’ve been there and can walk the journey with us makes a huge difference. I found this site not long after losing my husband 9/30/15. It has been so helpful to come here and get support. Just knowing that others have survived let me know I would too. In the beginning you need to just take things one day, sometimes one moment at a time. Try to take care of yourself by eating right if you can. Drinking water also helps. I find if I am strong physically, I can handle my emotions a little bit better Even if you don’t want to, if you can get some exercise, it will help. Reach out and share as much as you feel comfortable with here and you will feel like someone shares and validates your pain. Wishing you peace. Marybeth

My heart hurts for you and I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I come to this site every day to journal my thoughts, fears and yes...joys. I'm 17 months out and have found incredible support from Soaring Spirits International - Google it. They have several platforms of support: from hosting 3 Camp Widow conferences each year, to an online chat forum, Widowed Pen Pal program, and if you're on Facebook, like their page for links to Widowed Voice, and their daily "reminders" that you're not alone. I've met so many wonderful widowed people right here with our regional group affiliated with Soaring Spirits. I wish you well, especially in these awful, early days of raw, overwhelming grief.

I dont eat much, first day was the worst, last 5 about the same, not extremely bad. I dont have any family or friends. Drink too much coffee. I try to stay occupied, read & listen to religious music.

Ok, try to get a pen pal, thx for your thoughts. This is first Sunday since my Edy died. She is very close

Welcome to the group, Tom. I am over two years out, but the pain is still raw. Memorial Day is coming up; I am trying to move, but I wanted to wait till his monument was put out. It's been tough packing and sorting through his files, etc. I have moved way too many times! I don't have many friends here, and only one family member close by, so I can relate to the feeling of isolation. I listen to a lot of gospel music too, and I read. The noise and busyness seem to help, I find that I welcome bedtime as well. It's a reprieve from the real world, which isn't so pleasant right now. Oh, and I am doing occupational therapy on a daily basis. I don't know what else to say except to extend my condolences...

Thanks for your reply. Only other loss I can compare to is my mom passing but that was 1975. I have to stay on my feet, my wife was in hospital/rehab for >3.5 months, being crushed by her bills. No family to speak of around here. Only friends I had were family. I am just trying to scoot along and get something done. My wife died in my arms, I feel like suffocating some times. Lot of feelings intrude at home. I'm about 70 only go to Church once a week. Do Bible Readings & Prayer, religious music.

Sometimes all we can do is scoot. Or crawl. One thing I have learned is that the church does not care for the widow, as the Bible says they should. So I guess you could say that I'm under the bus right now. My late husband was a pillar of the church, and I think he is probably doing cartwheels about now if he can see what's going on. Just venting a bit. I have not been back to church in almost two months, and I hear circus music in the background (The Show Must Go On). Was your wife not on Medicare? I don't owe any hospital bills on my LH, but I may have some to pay on myself. I hope you are listening to upbeat music. There is another board called W &W of Faith. Have a blessed day, and may you find some level of comfort.