Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I was thinking about that phrase, this morning and as Val suggested, I'll put my thoughts here.
i have a good friend from DS.here, who has used this phrase a few times when we speak. I took it as a 'tongue in cheek" expression, then I got to thinking just how important that phrase is. I realized a lot of my time is NOT, my own.
Time, has become such a precious commodity for me, since Ben's passing. I find time is going so fast, there is so much I want to do...and accomplish, ( I'll talk about my bucket list, another day!) I thought Ben and I had accomplished and done so many things together; but there are still things I need to do.
im just going into 3rd year of Ben's passing......and yes, I still get gentle grief waves....but, now, I find myself torn between living out the rest of my days in quiet, easy paced living or ..as the music goes " give it all I've got!!"
May be a strange thought, to you who are younger......but for us older I ones ...For me..THATS A BIG DECISION!! I'm so used to giving my time to others.
Anybody have any thoughts on this, I really need feedback.....Sandra
Hugs,
Val
Great quote -my time is my own. I'm so there right now. I'm at the one year mark but I'm just now wrapping my head around the concept of being on my own and not wasting time (we all know how quickly life can be turned upside down). Like you, there's so much that I want to do and I've started taking baby steps in that direction. It feels good (and scary, I'll admit) to think in terms of really moving on and putting together a new life for myself, but with God's good grace, I'm chugging along. I encourage you to take stock and if there are things that you really want to do - start doing them - you can start small and keep building. That's my plan anyway. God Bless You!
You took what, yes I’ve said many times, out of context. You know my background in that I have no children and just about all of my generation, siblings, cousins etc., have pretty well been wiped out. There’s only a couple of us left. Hence my saying “my time is my own”. I never really said it, or mean it, tongue in cheek, even though you should know by now that I may say things that way to take the edge off. You know that I get involved in many things that most people would walk away from. That’s why I use that phrase. MY TIME IS MY OWN, so it follows that if I have nothing better to do then what else would I do other than help who ever needs (my time)- help. I have NOTHING but time and I have to use it doing something.
As I’m into my fourth year I’m finding more and more that if I want to keep my sanity I have to leave the safe zone of my own house and get involved in things. With having no children (most?) of the people on this site have no idea how daunting and challenging the never ending silence can be.
To those of you that are retired or have too much free time etc., your time is in fact your own, SO USE IT WISELY, but do use it. It is a way out of this predicament we find ourselves in.
As Always, Best Regards, George
Dear George,
I've always appreciated your "tell it like it is" way of putting things.
Your phrase , "MY TIME IS MY OWN" got me thinking,just lately about my time, and how fast time goes by. I believe it's time for me to, MAKE MY TIME MY OWN....at least for a little while.......
I'm hoping we can have one of our coffee chats soon, and "catch up on things"
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, George.
Hugs to all.....From Sandra
I'm hoping we can go for a coffee chat and get your feedback in person.
You know, I value your feedback...