Was there some issue with her in the past? I don't fully understand the question. Why are you hesitant about it?

Be cautious, that is all we can do when there is some issue of trust or doubt in someone.

I dont know your full story, but my husband also had a 11 years old girl. All I want is to have her around and I try to give her as much love as I can, because I know he would want me to do that.

She is a piece of him and I promised him I would take care of her. If you were gone, wouldnt you like for your husband to give your kids the love you could not longer provide?

I would be careful. We are vulnerable at this point. Shouldn't have to "read between the lines". My 26 year old granddaughter moved in, told people she was caring for me, and really was here using me. I had to kick her out, a few times. Your job right now is to care for yourself. Only time will tell what the relationship is.

I was on the outs with one of my step daughters when Roby passed away. But since things have gotten better and she apologized for the way she acted and things she said.
Talking to me gives her a positive connection to her dad, since her Mom and Dad had been divorced for so long with no communication.

His kids live so far away I don't expect to see them that often in the future, I think we'll fade out of each others lives.

I don't know your situation. My step-daughter and I get along fine. I see or talk to her often and consider her children my grandkids. I can't picture not having her in my life. She and her family is a blessing.

She moved in with her mom at 17 and her mom was very mean to my husband. My husbands daughter called him on her 21st birthday and called him every name in the book. Since then she has written her mom out of her life (so she says). I am going to be cautious with her she has done some things I have forgiven, but she has also done some things I cannot forgive.

Careful is the word, given the history. I too had to remove a step-daughter from my home. She almost needed me to death. Having her own problems similar to yours, also others that were too much to handle for me.

Your intuition is usually right.......when in doubt, do without.....or......
When in doubt, throw it out.......whatever works for you....go with your gut and take care of yourself

Thank you everyone for your comments.

My experience was that my stepchildren dragged us and their mom through a lot of drama when they were teens, but they had been through a divorce and some other harrowing events. no wthey and their children are the light of my life. Apologies have been given from both sides, mine and theirs. So I gues I'd say be careful, but keep an open mind. These children could be yet another blessing from your hubby.

You have to decide whether people are toxic or merely annoying. I was able to get past some crap when my Dad died so that I had the comfort of sharing memories with other people who also had a history with him. I was only 21 then. The older I get, the less time and tolerance for drama and BS I have. I hope it has a satisfactory conclusion for you, whatever you decide.

Blessed be.