Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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My spouse keeps on teaching how to live

Sadfire
Sadfire
Since my husband went to live with the Lord my life had a twist of faith. I felt lonely, sad, scared, confuse but most of all wanting to end my life as well. I found no use living without my husband. Then as days passed and then those days turned to months, I realized that I was taken care of everything around the house. Bills were getting paid, food was being cooked, kids were taken care for. Everything that I feared I was already doing it. The only difference was that I just realized it. Throughout this time I thought about my husband, how we managed everything together and know it was just me, but that was okay. I didn't feel alone just as if my husband was helping me and teaching me how to begin a new life without his physical body.

I strongly feel that God gave him the opportunity to prepare me and my kids for this season in our lives. My husband showed me so much throughout the years we spent together. He help me build my self-confidence, determination and perseverance to accomplish any short or long term goals. He believed in me unconditionally. He showed me how to have faith when things don't go our way. He showed me how to think and stay calm in the mights of a storm. He is an incredible man that never took life for granted. Our children also benefit from their daddy's great qualities. Today I am who I am and been able to accomplish so much since my husbands passing thanks to God and to my husband who showed me so much...

I'm so proud to have had the opportunity to be married to a courageous man like Jose Cuevas, for almost 19 years of my blessed life. I will never understand why God let bad things happen to good people but all I know that I must trust God.

Can you share with us what you learned from your spouse?
MrsMarkW
MrsMarkW
Sadfire - I could have written most of what you wrote myself. My husband taught me so much over our 34 year marriage, and he had total confidence that I could do anything that needed to be done. Over the years he taught me to drive an automatic, standard, motorcycle, repair things around the house, change oil in my car, replace spark plugs, wires, etc. I never thought about the fact that he actually prepared me to be on my own, as you wrote, but it certainly turned out that way, didn't it? He was ill over the last 10 years of his life and I pretty much had to do everything alone, but I really miss his instructional help. He talked me through electrical work, etc, things I would never attempt without his assistance. But most of all, he taught me to be patient, calm, positive, and to perservere through anything. Just watching him deal with such adversity and wondering how he remained so positive through it all was amazing. He was an amazing person and I strive to be like him.
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
Don and I learned together with the help of my parents and his. We entered marriage from our parents house and constantly called for help. I remember buying a fresh ham and covering it with pineapple slices. When I removed it from the oven I called my mom because it didn't look right. That's how I discovered roast "pork".
It really was a blast!! Sharon
asarivg12
asarivg12
I learned how to deal with people from my wife. She seemed to have an almost infinite amount of empathy for people. When she was a youth she came across this religious quote and she used it to guide how she dealt with people.

Beware lest ye harm any soul, or make any heart to sorrow; lest ye wound any man with your words, be he known to you or a stranger, be he friend or foe.

Its one thing to know the quote, but another to make it part of how you always deal with people. As a result I saw daily application of this guidance when we dealt with many difficult people ( family, lol ).

The other thing is that she knew how important family is, and we made it a point to nurture our relationships with all of our family members.

Yeah, I'm still in a learning mode. She was an absolute master.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What a wonderful testament to your husband. Clint was so very good to me. He allowed me to be who I am and not what he wanted me to be. Our marriage was fashioned exclusively for us, in that he didn't traveled, but he never kept me from traveling. He was a homebody who took care of his home. The preparations that was put in place for me was quietly taken care of. His birthday is November 20th, which would be his 75th birthday. He was my second husband and we were together 36 years. He was kind man who always tried to make others feel better. Sometimes I felt he did more than he should. When I would fuss about other people's ignorant behavior, he would always say "its their problem, not yours." He was a Mental Health Therapist and I would tell people I was blessed to get free advice especially because he was a christian who really, really loved the Lord. I am so grateful that he was in my life.
gerald222
gerald222
Sadfire I could have written your post. I also had the same sentiments towards my wife and God. Wishing you peace, Gerald