Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
This Friday night my son is getting married and tonight is the rehearsal dinner. My son got engaged in January and my Jeanne was able to announce their engagement at her 60 th. birthday where the whole family came to celebrate. She was so happy about the fact that she got to see them get engaged. My future daughter in law included her the shopping for the wedding dress, venues, down to every detail of planning the wedding. My son and his fianc rushed the date of the wedding so hopefully Jeanne would still be with us. Jeanne had told me back in February that it was time for her to go so that we could heal before the wedding, just like her mom died 6 months before we got married. She spent one whole night with our future daughter in law and told her things she wanted her to tell our grandchildren and how happy she was that she was marrying our son and to take care of me.
I know Jeanne wrote a toast that she wanted Jill to read at the wedding from her and for us to remember her on that special day. I don't know how I am going to make it through the service walking down the aisle alone, listening to Jeanne name being remembered at the prayers of the faithful, the groomsmen are all wearing orange socks ( Jeanne's favorite color) to remember Greg's mom, sitting alone at dinner even though the table will be filled with my family, no one to dance with and finally the speech that Jill is going to give in her memory. I have tried so very hard to enjoy the festivities and I do not want to share my fear and anxiety with anyone to spoil the day. My entire family has been by my side for the last year and now it is their time for them to celebrate. Jeanne will be on everybody's mind I have been doing pretty good until this morning when I was alone and had a major breakdown. I hope that I can keep my act together for the next couple of days but I thought that writing this note would help me express my fear and help me cope thought the next glorious days for my family. I see a grief therapist and she has told me that she will be available by phone or text through out the ceremony.
I know Jeanne wrote a toast that she wanted Jill to read at the wedding from her and for us to remember her on that special day. I don't know how I am going to make it through the service walking down the aisle alone, listening to Jeanne name being remembered at the prayers of the faithful, the groomsmen are all wearing orange socks ( Jeanne's favorite color) to remember Greg's mom, sitting alone at dinner even though the table will be filled with my family, no one to dance with and finally the speech that Jill is going to give in her memory. I have tried so very hard to enjoy the festivities and I do not want to share my fear and anxiety with anyone to spoil the day. My entire family has been by my side for the last year and now it is their time for them to celebrate. Jeanne will be on everybody's mind I have been doing pretty good until this morning when I was alone and had a major breakdown. I hope that I can keep my act together for the next couple of days but I thought that writing this note would help me express my fear and help me cope thought the next glorious days for my family. I see a grief therapist and she has told me that she will be available by phone or text through out the ceremony.
Lisa
Love to you
Darcie
I doubt she would want you to dampen your sons day by being sad about her and having people focus on you instead of the Bride and Groom.
Think of how happy she would be, beaming at all the festivities.
Try to draw strength from her happiness and love for the couple on their big day.
But if it gets too much for you (and why wouldnt it) , can you just disappear quietly so everyone else can enjoy the festivities?