Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
And I am trying to cope with his loss. I am having trouble getting things done that need to be done. I'll take care of his final arrangements tomorrow morning, and the company that rented the hospital bed and oxygen concentrator to the hospice organization will come for those things tomorrow afternoon. I am left with 2 dogs and a cat that need to be taken care of. He was only 52 years old. I am 70 years old. He could do things that I can not do, like fix up this old house we have been living in for 8 years, installed a heat pump complete with ducts and vents, created me a bathroom off of my bedroom, and could fix most anything that needed fixing. I am all thumbs when it comes to using most tools. I am grieving for his loss while trying to cope with everything else. I have lost interest in TV programs and most everything else I used to do.
How do you cope with such a great loss? I know 'life must go on' but how do you get by the day to day routine that needs to be done?
How do you cope with such a great loss? I know 'life must go on' but how do you get by the day to day routine that needs to be done?
I think feeling a bit numb at first is pretty normal. You just have to remind yourself to carry out your daily duties for yourself (get out of bed, dress, eat) in my case, at least I have to keep my kids in their routine, and try to keep an OK face.
Two days ago I organised an Irish-type wake in a pub, invited everyone he knows I could think of, and I must say, it helped my mood a lot. The first time in weeks I smiled and even laughed, reminiscing.
Most importantly, don't forget to take care of yourself.
Hugs to you !
LisaAnn
I am so very sorry for your loss. Your grief is so raw and so new that it's understandable that you're having a hard time getting things done. Gerald's advice is excellent: be gentle with yourself and give yourself time to mourn fully.
I also recommend that you keep a small notebook handy. When something comes to mind that you want to remember later -- appointments, telephone calls, even a grocery list -- write it down. Believe me, that will help. I cannot tell you how many times I forgot important things and ended up frustrated until I started keeping a notebook of reminders. I was -- and sometimes still am -- in a debilitating fog of grief, so being able to check my notes from time to time gave me a sense of control & balance.
In the meantime, please come here to DS often. There will always be someone here to listen.
Wishing you peace . . .
Another idea: My father lives in a suburb that has low cost handy man services for seniors. They'll come change a light bulb or other small jobs for only five dollars. I would check into that.
I wish you peace, Jeff
You have a lot going on remember to be good to yourself, and do what must be done and everything else can wait...sending you a hug
cd
I ditto all of the previous responses of being gentle with self as well as get a notebook and write down your thoughts, whether they be things that need to be done, or journaling your feelings. I find that once pen is put to paper it reinforces my reality and keeps me moving as I can check off the must do's. Some days they get done, others not. It's okay.
I am so sorry for your loss . . . come here as often as you need to. You are in good cyber hands. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Dayna
Take one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time.
Hugs,
Janie