I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost my husband too suddenly and unexpectedly due to a heart attack last March and we have 2 children. I understand how you feel now. It really is hard. Be strong for your kids, they need you and they depend on you and most especially take care of yourself.

I'm so sorry for your loss! I know how devastated you feel. This Saturday will mark the 5th anniversary of my husband's death (he died suddenly of a heart attack at 46). Folks who tell you it'll get better mean no harm. They want to comfort you, but are at a loss as to what to say.

I would urge you to join a support group in your area. It does help to talk to others who have gone through or are going through your same experience. Be sure to get your kids involved in a support group for children who've lost a parent. You are dealing with your own grief so it's hard for you to help them also. Plus, losing a spouse is much different than losing a parent. You can't understand their grief, just like they can't understand yours. All grieving is not the same. My dad died when I was 13 & I wish there was support for grieving kids then (it was 1977).

I will tell you also some days will be better than others. Eventually, the better days soon outnumber the bad. How long it'll take for you to get to that point is hard to say. But it will happen. Right now, you curse the sun for shining because how dare there be sunny days when your beloved husband isn't by your side. I remember feeling that way. I felt it should always be raining or cloudy. One day you'll wake up & notice how brilliant the sun is & it'll be awesome! It won't mean you've forgotten your husband, it just means you've learned to accept the new life you have & are willing to move ahead. Your children will notice also.

One more thing... don't stop talking about him to the kids! Because my mom was so heartbroken, we were all afraid to talk about my dad. It was almost like he never existed! Keep his memory & his love alive in your kids! Don't be afraid to tell them how much like him they are, whether it's something good or a little annoying. Be sure to share funny stories about their dad. And let them talk about memories they have about him!

Take care of yourself! And, above all, be kind to yourself!

I am so sorry for your loss. What a horrible tragedy. Yes, it will get better eventually but right now it is so new and raw that it is hard to imagine. I agree with BeenThere in that it would be good for you to find a support group for yourself and also one for your kids. I am glad that you found this site (although very sorry that you had to find it). This is a good place...............everyone is here for you.

Sylvia

I do curse the sun for shining most days. I even get upset when I look at pictures of my late husband because I ask out loud how could you leave us. Then there are moments when I look at his pictures and think about how much joy he brought to us. It is as if the pain will not subside. Yet I have to get through the days for my children.