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My first birthday without Gary

myhusbandisanangel
myhusbandisanangel

 Saturday will mark my first of everything, it is my birthday and I am feeling anxious. I am sad as Gary always made sure I went out for dinner and I always got some flowers. He treated me so wonderfully, and I am going to miss that this time around. Everyone says that the firsts are always hard. I hope I can get through this Saturday. My brother and his family are making me dinner on Sunday, but I don't feel like celebrating as my Gary is not here to celebrate with me. I need some advice on how to deal with this and get through.


I have met a lot of friends along the way while on this website and I don't know what I would have done if it was not for this website. Everyone here has or will be going through this and your advice is always welcome. I lost my husband October 18 and I miss him every single day. Thanks my friends for reading my vent for the day.


Dianna

luckydaughter
luckydaughter
Hi Dianna. Yes, my birthday is coming up soon and I dread it, too. I don't doubt that you don't feel like celebrating without Gary, but hopefully you will get some pleasure and relaxation from your brother and his family making dinner for you. I will be thinking of you this weekend and sending good thoughts your way.

Sylvia
myhusbandisanangel
myhusbandisanangel
Thank you Sylvia for your words. I will try to enjoy myself as it is nice they are making me dinner. Thanks for thinking of me on Saturday. That is kind of you.
shelda
shelda
The first of everything is different..but it will come and go and you'll be stronger for it too ..this is like a unwelcome trip..i am learning things about me that i no longer feel i need any longer..Hugs :)
Markie
Markie
Hello Dianna, For these firsts I am now starting to light a candle for Amy. It helps me feel more connected and it is nice and peaceful. For Thanksgiving, the family met at my Mother's house for dinner. I brought two candle (one for Amy and one for my father, who died this past February). Nobody said anything but my mother, and that was okay (I don't know if they noticed or did not notice , and it does not matter... this is between Amy and me). I will continue to do this.
Blessings, Peace, Healing and Hope for all of us for today and for all that are hurting.... Mark
staygolden3
staygolden3
Yes Dianna, the "firsts" are tough but they do come...and they do go......
Last year were my first holidays as well. I, like Markie suggested, lit a big beautiful red candle during gatherings at our house or on the actual day for Ira. Red was his favorite color. I told no one the reason but it comforted me to know that it was a symbol of him and that his presence was still felt and known and loved.

This year unexpectedly and still much to my amazement, brings new joy and love.
Of course the memories will still be there, but this time fond not sorrowful. I would still like to light that candle but this year I will invite John to choose and light a candle for his Capri who also watches over us along with Ira ever so lovingly.

Enjoy your dinner and don't be afraid to reminisce with your family of your past life and good times along with the sentimental memories. There will be tears but know that you are loved from heaven and here on earth. Gary will always be with you in spirit Dianna, he will protect you and guide you. Keep your thoughts open and you will find your way with that guidance. I'll be thinking of you on Saturday and saying a special prayer to help you along the way.
Love and hugs to you dear lady,
Darcie
PS....maybe just make Saturday a day for you. Stay home, cry if you want, snuggle under the blankets and eat some chocolate. Light a candle for Gary and feel his presence and love. Look at that dancing flame and know that his spirit lives on. It's your day.....whatever you do is truly okay....