D.Jay, I am so sorry for your loss. My sympathy is with you at this hard time. The first few weeks are especially difficult, the pain is acute and shock is overwhelming. It takes time to slowly come to terms with what happened and to accept it's finality. My husband died last August after a massive stroke. I am a 53 y.o. widow. It's not easy to find widows/widowers in our age group, they are far and between. I live in Tucson, AZ and there are several support groups in the area I found online. I attend two of them, Widow-to-Widow and Grief Recovery, it helps. Do you have access to personal grief counseling? It may be necessary for you now. Try to take care of yourself (food/sleep/walks). Just take one day at a time and have mercy on you. Don't be afraid of tears, crying heals.

My condolences, but I'm no help to you as I am in similar shoes with my wife of 43 yrs passing from cancer 3 and a half weeks ago. I have been slightly encouraged by people that state the pain and grief lessens with time. I'm still waiting.

I feel your pain. My hubby was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma January 2015, and passed October 2017. This was a horrendous cancer that wreaked havoc within our family. I miss him terribly and at a loss as to how to move forward. It's especially hard during this holiday season. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. My sweet wife died 8 months ago, she was also very young 45. Her 46 birthdays is Monday & it's going to be a very tough day. We were married 16 years together 19. They say it gets easier, but for it just gets harder. I will say a prayer for you.

I appreciate the comments from other people who are going through similar situations. I had no idea the range of feelings that true grief forces us to endure. Right now I feel like I am staying strong for Jennifer because she stayed so strong throughout her 8 + years Journey with cancer. We lif
lived each day with an attitude of gratitude and I am trying to do that now but it is very difficult. Going to work has been my main salvation at this point. My coworkers are very supportive as many have worked with me over the past 10 years. I feel that I owe it to Jennifer to keep going and stay strong for our families. At this point I do not feel that I am doing it for me because I am too heartbroken. I still have the little dog who was by her side over the years and one of the cats. I don't find that hanging around other people is that helpful because my loneliness is for Jennifer not other people. I continue to eat well and do the best I can day by day. I just heard from a coworker yesterday that her sister died of cancer last Thursday and I was able to talk about grief with her. I know everyone moves at a different pace and I guess the greater the love is the greater the grief is:-(

I appreciate the comments from other people who are going through similar situations. I had no idea the range of feelings that true grief forces us to endure. Right now I feel like I am staying strong for Jennifer because she stayed so strong throughout her 8 + years Journey with cancer. We
lived each day with an attitude of gratitude and I am trying to do that now but it is very difficult. Going to work has been my main salvation at this point. My coworkers are very supportive as many have worked with me over the past 10 years. I feel that I owe it to Jennifer to keep going and stay strong for our families. At this point I do not feel that I am doing it for me because I am too heartbroken. I still have the little dog who was by her side over the years and one of the cats. I don't find that hanging around other people is that helpful because my loneliness is for Jennifer not other people. I continue to eat well and do the best I can day by day. I just heard from a coworker yesterday that her sister died of cancer last Thursday and I was able to talk about grief with her. I know everyone moves at a different pace and I guess the greater the love is the greater the grief is:-(

D Jay, I don't have any answers but know you are no alone. Today is 9 weeks since my dear Lisa passed. She had been very sick for the last year and half. She was 45 (Im 46) when she died on Oct 2nd. Her birthday is Dec 31st. I am not looking forward to the Holidays you could say. I have kept busy with work and projects around the house but those are wrapping up and I am already nervous about what to do with my self. I too had to pick up her ashes and they are still in her craft room. I am not ready for the dating thing as I was with here for 20+ years, 18 married and the other 4 dating and engaged. Ive know her since we were 16/17, that will never go away.

Stay strong, it sounds cliche I know but we all need to try. I hope it gets better in time as I still break down almost daily.

For me the little things were hard, going to the grocery store, post office, all the places we went together. Its been tough, just know you are not alone. Hang in there as we are here and completely understand the pain you feel. Take care my friend. btw I am located in Richmond VA.

D.Jay,
Your loss is very close to mine. Terry and I were together for 17 wonderful years.
A never ending honeymoon. Rode motorcycles together(she rode her own), fished and boated together and deer hunted in south Texas together. If I had a Bike between my legs, a gun or a fishing rod in my hand I couldn't get out of the house without her. We loved each other companionship and could be together constantly. We were each our own person and did some separate activities, as everyone in a healthy relationship should do, but we were also best friends.

She will be gone 9 weeks tomorrow and I still think of her every second of everyday. She was diagnosed with colon cancer and lasted for 3 weeks after that, at 49. The pain is still almost unbearable at times, but the blessing of having each other and the fond memories we made, overcome the pain and sadness.
Stay strong, I have been told by many, it never goes away, nor do we really want it to. We just learn to live with it and continue on. She would not want me unhappy, she did more to make me happy than anyone on this earth, and she would want me to continue being happy. I will be in time, just not yet.
She will remain in my heart and soul for the rest of my days.