I too hate mornings. Every single morning I have to adjust anew to the situation as it is now. (((HUGS)))

I hear it often from widows that nighttime was difficult for them. Like you, mine was mornings. We got up together, had breakfast and coffee together, read the paper, dressed and carpooled to work.

In the beginning it took all I had to just get out of bed, function and walk out the door. As time went by, I would always wake up feeling good, and then the anxiety would start building. There were times when my hands shook so much I had a time getting dressed and putting on my makeup. I've been crippled by fear, sweat, dry heaves, lightheadness, or not being able to walk a straight line without bumping into the walls. Talk about embarrassed. Try to control that one.

As the day went by, yes, it got better, and by noon had dissapeared. However, the cycle would repeat - go to bed rested and wake up a emotional mess.

Honey, it is normal to be scared, sad and lonely. Don't put yourself into the future, but take each day as it comes. None of us know how long we have on this earth, so basically you are worrying about things that most likely won't even happen.

If you can, face the fear(s). One of mine was driving in the snow. Well, my nephew takes me out during a snowstorm, yes, a snowstorm, and I drive around the block. Around the block turned into entering the major highway, circling around my development, and re-entering at the gate. Am I afraid now? No. Cautious? Yes.

It was very difficult to come home to an empty house. No sound, no movement, no noise. I did not have any intention doing this, but followed through with adopting a cat. You can't imagine what a God-send she has been for me.

I'm so sorry to read your Post...that's a dreadful way to start the day. I've had those feelings more than I'd like, but somehow you will get past it.
Are you able to have a cat or dog? A little companion who depends on you and gives you "reasons" to get out of bed each day can work wonders.
Also, try to count your blessings...if you can see, hear, talk, and walk...those are basics in life that we take for granted. I'm using a wheelchair, so the "walking part" doesn't apply to me, but I'm thankful for those other blessings.

You are not alone in your sadness...we are here to listen and everyone in our W/Ws group is very willing to share advice or help in any way possible. Keep the faith...you will be okay!
Sending gentle hugs,
Nancy

I am sorry that you are feeling so down in the mornings. We are here to listen and sending hugs to you. We all feel this way especially at the beginning. It will get a bit better slowly. You are not alone. I know especially the fear is very real, but try not to let it take over your life. If you fear to be alone at home, maybe you could get a dog for protection and to keep you company.

My name is Kelli & I'm a "NEW WIDOW" my 45 yr old husband passed on 12-31-12 and I get the SAME feelings but at night!!! Can't sleep at all!!! I keep thinking we didn't do enough to save him and is he here "WATCHING" us in a "mean" way or I get scared he is NOT SAFE at home where I laid him to rest (which I know he is cause he is at home w/ his Mom & younger brother in Sicily) or I fear someone will try and hurt me and my lil ones and he isnt here to protect us!! I have my 2 lil ones sleep w/ me to fill the bed void our older daughter wont barley come in our room! A part of me feels guilty that I'm OK that he is NO LONGER in pain and finally able to rest and then a part of me gets SUPER ANGRY that he isnt here FIGHTING for us!!!! Then the saddness is NUMB for me.....is this for REAL??? I don't like this feeling change it back!!!! I just wish I had 5 min w/ him to say "OK, now you see what it is like w/out us & not being here!! So are you going to come home and change and fight to get better??".....I ALWAYS told him once he goes he can't come back & he would say Oh, I'll be back!! I think he LIED to me!!!

Violet,
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm almost to the three month mark and I can tell you that for the first month every single morning I woke up with a huge knot in my stomach and felt like I was going to be sick. It was a horrible way to wake up and I felt it the moment I opened my eyes. Once I did get up and start my day it would ease some but there were times at lunch I still couldn't even eat b/c I felt so sick. (My day starts at 5:00am).
Just try to breathe, and hopefully those awful fears will start to subside just a little.
Keep coming back to this site, this is the best help I've had on my journey honestly. The people on this site are so caring and supportive, and they will help you whether you need to vent, cry or just read. Hugs to you.

I don't like any time of day. But in the morning if you have no plans I just want to stay in bed. But.... my dog has other ideas.

I have never been a morning person, but before my wife died waking up and going to work was a part of being a provider. Now when I wake up I have a talk with myself:
I'm breathing, my heart is beating, so get up and go to work. I'm having to re-motivate myself to provide even if it's just me.