Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Mornings

deremusl
deremusl

I've been hesitant to post because so many here are so new in their grief, but I have nowhere else to turn.  I'm hoping some who are further on can relate to what I'm going through.  I am at 2 years and 4 months.  My husband died very suddenly and unexpectedly.  We started dating when I was 16, and had been married for 45 years.  I'm 66 now, and retired. This road has been hard for me, but I am moving forward and trying hard to find happiness in this new life.  The one thing that has not changed is waking up in the morning.  I still find myself extremely sad and anxious upon waking. I have to take antianxiety medication and let it take effect before I can get up.  Once I'm up and the day progresses, I am better, but it takes awhile.  My evenings and nights are okay.  Before my husband died, I was a morning person.  I loved being up to watch the sun rise. I want to have that back.  I have tried jumping out of bed as soon as I open my eyes, but the anxiety is worse then and it takes longer to ease up.  Can anyone relate, and maybe have some advice?  


Hugs, Linda 






VWTDIFAN
VWTDIFAN
Mornings are toughest for me too. It's like my mind resets while I sleep and I have to work through the process all over to get to a decent place.

I've found just asking God for strength helps tremendously. Philippians 4:13. Getting out of bed, getting my kids ready and to church on time yesterday was a miracle. I sat down in the service and wondered how I got there. Ask God, he won't refuse.
AfterMom
AfterMom
the first things I hear upon waking affects me greatly, but that is a known tool during my whole life. for me, it is spiritual music or things being read out loud. That can put my mind on things of strength and encouragement. Instrumental music of a classical type is another option. If there is instrumental music which was not associated with husband. maybe this is a good time to hear things which are new to you.
AfterMom
AfterMom
changing your bedroom arrangement or decor / appearance may help.
Ellebelle
Ellebelle
I can't imagine how hard your journey has been. I was only with my husband for 7 blessed years and I feel so empty without my guy. I too wake up with anxiety and a deep sadness . I keep telling myself he would want me to feel joy for my life but it's so hard to be left here on earth to keep keeping on. One thing that helps me is petting my cats first thing. They are so happy and innocent. I've tried positive affirmations and meditation but not too good at either yet. I've started journaling about how I feel without judging myself. I've noticed some thoughts I've having repeat and I'm trying to offer contradictions to them. Another thing I started just this morning is turning on gentle uplifting music and doing stretches. I wish you moments of peace and joy
deb20
deb20
I'm at almost 2 years, too. Mornings seem to be hard. I do my daily walk as soon as I get up. It helps clear my mind. Hugs to you...
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
Rearranging your bedroom may help. I slept better and had an easier time in the morning after I redecorated our bedroom. It looked like "my room" instead of "our room" and that seemed to help.

One of the hardest things for me was that Cliff always got up and made the coffee and brought me a cup in bed. Oh how I missed that! But I got a new programmable coffee maker so it would go on automatically and my older son set it up each night so that I didn't have to. Waking up in the morning with the aroma of fresh-brewed coffee sure helped a coffee hound like me.

How is your sleep? Are you sleeping through the night? Are you just getting a few hours instead of 7 or 8? Sleep deprivation can ratchet up anxiety in the morning.

If you have very low blood sugar levels in the morning that can make the anxiety worse, too. Try having a glass of milk before bed to even out your blood sugar levels - that may help as well.

I hope you get some decent rest and that your mornings get brighter.

Love and Hugs,
Martha
vwidow
vwidow
I thought this issue was special but now it seems many people have anxiety/fear upon waking. And for me it doesn't matter where I am. I could have fallen asleep in the car. But I noticed it's usually magnified if I fall asleep during the day for an hour or hours .I've had this before my husband's death though. I USED TO THEORIZE that.....have to finish. later, I'm dozing...