As I sit here this morning in the pre-dawn hours and write these thoughts, I am reminded of how my wife would often wake up early to send me a text,or a link, or an I love you note that I would see when I woke up.
Today is day 61 without my love of my life. I am learning to cope, and trying heal but this is truley a walk through Hell. I try to honor my wife by staying strong, but at times I feel like I've lost all hope and just want to join her. I sometimes cry so much and so hard that my chest becomes sore and my eyes burn. I haven't had my real voice in a while..always hoarse.
Now I contemplate all the little things that I am required to experience such as July,25 (our wedding anniversary),October,22 (her birthday),December 25, (Christmas....her favorite holiday),January,1(the start of a new year), February.14 (Valentine's day),April,26 (the day she left this world).
I know these days are going to be very tough, and I'm trying to prepare for those memories that are going to cause me even more grief.
Frankly, I do not know yet how I will be able to cope on those days, I am just living day to day right bow, but I see I have one of those memory dates coming up fast.