I'm so sorry Garry for your loss. I've felt everyone of those things that you described and felt every pain. One day at a time my friend. That's all you can do. I'm sorry there are no magic words to make it better. Just go with the flow. Keep doing what you're doing. She is still with you and proud of you. We are all here too.
Peace and strength
Darcie

Hang in there Gary, we are all rowing the same boatIt just keeps going in circles..It will be 8 months for me shortly and I am just now trying to reach the shore. I recently joined a widow/er club and it has helped immensely because we are all in that same boat together...

I'm starting to think my cuddling might be overboard with the pups. but they're All I've got.
They're even allowed on his side of the bed now. at first I felt like it was kind of teasing him, like "Well, you're not here... don't you want to make her move over?!"
I guess the rules are out the window. but to reach over & pet my pup is a little comfort. and sometimes a foot warmer.
I feel pathetic posting this, but it's all I got.

I am so sorry for your loss also. Seeing couples enjoying each other can be so very hard. We have to remember the wonderful times we as couples shared. I was in a restaurant the other day. There were four older ladies sitting there. They were rude, arrogant and demanding to the staff. Along with so many things I am scared of, becoming one of them frightens me. I don't want to become some bitter old widow. I also miss just the mundain every day interaction with my husband. It can be so heart breaking. Hang in there Garry, we are walking and crawling this path with you and we won't give up, we just can't. Hugs and Love to all, Michele

Missing my wife a lot today too. Went to the mall with my kids to do Christmas shopping. Lots of couples everywhere, young and old. I sigh. At least I have my kids. Salespeople were all nice too.

Know that feeling all too well. Got off work and came home to our home. Just me an the cats. Watching our favorite shows that have piled on the TVO.I couldn't help the tears yesterday while I was out our Girlfriend Melanie's daughter's first Christmas dinner in her new home. David should have been there with me! They were all great though. Gave me space when I needed it an hugs when they knew I really needed it. I haven't been able to go out to eat alonge yet. I've gone out with friends shopping is crazy because my panic attacks are back. I wait until a friend has to go. Even though I have issues. It's only been a month today but it feels like decades and feels like just yesterday.

Garry, I'm very sorry for your loss. As I read the logs on this post I know all of us are in the same situation. The other half of us missing. Even when I am in our truck I'm missing him. He drove everywhere. He like to have that control( he did not appreciate my lead foot!). I walked in the grocery store and can not explain how terrible that too was.he always pushed the cart. Would bring the truck around when we were ready to load our groceries. The many tiny things that were so big!. We will always miss them, their touch, their affection, their presence. I too have a small dog, she now sleeps on his side of the bed. Greets me when I come home & licks my face when I wake up. I'm happy she is there. Maybe a pet will help ease a little bit of the pain. It's a start .
Much love and hugs to you.
MeggyK

Hi Meggiek, i am sorry for your lose. Actually I do have 2 dogs and 2 cats and I believe they are probably the reason I am still around.

Garry sorry for the late reply. I'm at work. took a quick peak at the logs today. So you have cats and dogs too, .I have 2 dogs, a big German Shepard and a small chi Wawa. They both sleep in my room, but the small one sleeps with me. She did not use to. I know they miss my husband too, because he took care of them the past 4 years. He did not work the last 4 years due to back and neck injuries. I know they wonder what happened to him. I miss my husband everyday. I had 4 children when I meet him. Neither him or I had ever owned a home. We bought our home shortly after we got married. Between the 2 of us we grew a garden all the way around the 1/2 acre and home. He worked so hard on this home & built the shed in the back yard. Sorry to say I have to short sale this home in the next coming weeks. It's hard to ingest the fact that I lost both my husband and our home in less then 3 months. It's so hard, We lived here 14 years. A whole book and the many chapters in our lives, just gone in such a short time. My heart is so broken. Don't know where i'll go next. Can't really find comfort in anything except in this site when I read that I'm not alone. I read every chance I get, even the old post. It's been 8 weeks since I became a widow. Just like you and everyone on this site, struggling with the loss and pain No one can take away the pain,but some how, for some unknown reason ,this site helps me feel better. Sorry you are here Garry. Sending you lots of Hugs and love. Peace and comfort.
Meggyk

I'm so sorry, Garry...I understand...it IS hard when you have to see happy couples...a pain I have come to know too well over the past 9 months.. I always try to avert my eyes, but it's not always as easy as that...
Slimbear, you said something that resonated with me..'at least I have my kids'...I have to remember that when all seems dark and hopeless...at least I still have my son...