I know the feeling. It has been seven months for me and today has been one of those crying days. Maybe the cold weather does have
something to do with our feelings. Maybe the Spring will bring us some
happiness again.

Big hugs Russ. I know how you feel. Some days I just walk in the kitchen and cry cuz thats where we did alot of our talking. But I've tried to do alot of reading and it seems that this is normal. You go along and think you've grasped it and BAM..it hits you like a Mack truck. Relax and let it happen. You still need a good cry every so often . It's really ok.
And in a day or so you
ll be right as rain. Yes, we all need a bit of warm weather and sunshine ,too. I'm sure that will help alot
Nancy

I know it is difficult when you think you are doing well and suddenly, out of nowhere, comes the overwhelming grief wave. It happened to me early December, at the 10 months mark, when I was visiting my daughter and grand children I had not seen for nearly a year. I should have been happy to be with them (and I was) but somehow I also was grief stricken.

It is good to talk about it here because people do understand. I have been better now for a few weeks. Today is two weeks short of the year mark. I am not looking forward to it, not to say I dread it. Because I am totally alone, I have organised to go for a few days to Paris not to be at home alone.

Crying is good, cleansing, and do cry if you need to. I think we will still have some tough time ahead but hopefully not as raw as in the beginning. I, too, am crying today because it is Sunday, the day he died and Sundays were always special to us. No more, I now detest Sundays because I always feel more alone on Sundays. I wish I could grow a thick, rhino like skin (no disrespect to rhinos) so as not to feel so sensitive and vulnerable.

Well there you are, Russ, I have been harping on about myself but this is to say that you are in my thoughts and I do understand about you missing your wife and your bout of sorrow.

A big, big hug to you.

Your body has a way of helping with the release of stress. It is good for you too break down on occasion. But, I'm guessing you know that. I think there may be moments years down the road when I'll just break down. It is horrible losing the one you love best, and who makes you complete. Bad weather does have a factor, but you miss her. How can you not? I think you need lots of hugs from us all.

Russ, I will share a cup of tears with you. I am farther along...but like the song say "I am not over you" This cold weather, the timing? Winters always meant a lazier start to the day and and earlier finish, both wrapped safely in his arms.


Next month will be his birthday.
How about a piece of pie to go with the tear tea?

Russ, i too am experiencing the same thing. It has been almost 6 months for me and today with all the snow that we have had in Michigan I just feel trapped and lost. i feel like what am I doing or what am I going to do with this big empty house. It;s like I just cant do it for me yet. I can clean and do laundry and everyday things but cant get motivated to improve anything around here which really does need some attention because my husband was ill for 12 years. Anyway, I know that a lot of us can relate to you and I'm sorry we all have to go through this. Shiloah

It was 64 and sunny here In Tennessee today. I wanted to venture out, but never made it, the next few days in the 20's. been so trapped lately. Will be a year on February 11th.

Spring hurry!!!!!

I am having the same feelings today. Here in Southwestern Ontario the snow and the cold keep coming. On the weather to night they said that there will more on the way. I am tired of shoveling and yesterday the snow was hard and icey. When I came after working the snow in my driveway was up to my mid thigh. As I shoveled I prayed that some good soul would help me. Then out of no where I heard someone say I coming to help. My next door neighbor came to my rescue. He had a snow blower and cleaned the drive way and my walk way to my back door. I was so happy all I could do was cry. After he finished he said as neighbors we need to help each other.
I started to cry again early this morning. A person that I know had her mother pass away. This person was an only child to a single mother. Just thinking about what this person going through, made me think about my husband and how alone I am to.
I say cry as much as you need. Lots of hugs

This past Saturday I cried all day long. It is six months today since Clint passed away. Every Saturday I relive coming upstairs to our bedroom at about 9:30 am and seeing him being absent from the body and present with the Lord. Being snowed in has been especially hard because I live alone. I listen on you tube to some Christian songs, a sermon by our former pastor who is with the Lord and the Men's choir my husband sang with. I saw him on you tube singing and clapping and I smiled. It really lifted my spirits. People ask me how can I stay in our home by myself and where he died. God makes the difference. I am very lonely and I miss him so much, but I have peace. I have slept in our bed that he transitioned in every night. I find comfort feeling as if I am close to him.

While I cried at the beginning, I felt the more intense pain at around the 8 months mark when I let ,myself truly feel . It had caught up with me and through support group sessions, I learned that it was o.k. to cry and let go some of the pain with the tears. At about month 11, I had a major breakdown day one Saturday , I would calm down somewhat only to start "Bawling" 5 minutes later . I crashed into bed that night and fell asleep crying . The next day was a better day. It happens less often now but it still happens. It`s been just over 1 year and this morning I was sad and cried for a bit...Our son called to talk and tell me that he and his girlfriend may get engaged as soon as he puts the money aside for a ring...He is only turning 23 in April but feels from the life lessons he has had to learn, that life is for the living . I was sad because my husband would have cried tears of joy at this type of news ...They were the best of friends for 3 years before starting a relationship and now have been in a relationship for 2 years...