Three months is not very far "down the road" - and you will probably experience roller-coaster emotions for a while. The hardest thing for me was comprehending the reality of the situation. My husband was ill for 2 years, and I had no idea it would be hard to believe that he was "really gone" when it happened. I like to write my feelings in a private journal, which I kept for the first year after Frank's passing. I didn't write every day, but sometimes just expressing the pain I felt, the memories of his illness and our life etc. was helpful to me. I hope you have family and friends near you for support. I think I accepted every invitation I received - mostly going to lunch with friends. We have to get used to the "hole" in our hearts and lives -- and it takes a while. The 2nd anniv. of my husband's death was 9/2 and I feel so much better emotionally than last year. Wishing you peace -
Doye

I still havethose days and I am 2 years into this its like my counselor said "there will be days that you feel in control and there will be days when your emotions will take control and get the best of you." I have learned that just go with it why hold back and as she told me its good to cry. What I don't think was right is that they told you that you are not crying enough everyone is different and you will cry when you have to.

Sending you HUGS. Maria

i know just what you mean. Some days (minutes?) I feel okay. Then, it is like getting kicked in the stomach, the pain and tears are so great. I think, and I could be wrong, as I'm only a few weeks into loosing my husband is there are no rules, no timelines, no opinions on this. It is what it is and we have to feel what we feel. For me, at least, once I feel it all, cry it all, rant it all, I can move forward, at least until it all hits me again.

Blessings.

Sometimes your emotions are uncontrollable -- don't feel bad if you cried -- it probably did you some good. Just understand that this is all very new. I am beginning to believe that our subconscious mind plays tricks on our conscious mind and reminds us by having some sort of emotion surface at the strangest and least expected times. Take it slow and don't be hard on yourself. Don't make my mistakes though, do try to get out and spend time with your family. The longer you cling to your suffering and pain -- the worst is gets. I am not saying that you should not go through all of the stages -- my therapist says that if we don't -- it will surface at a time when we should not be dealing with it and it could be damaging. Please hang in there and if you are a person of belief, pray, pray and pray -- for strength and guidance. Blessings to you!!!

I'm right with you. I have been crying all weekend. I have not been able to close the flood gates. I went out with my girlfriend on Friday. Perhaps a bad idea. It was a place my husband and I had been to several times. A dinner / dance / hall. I cried on and off for 4 hours as they played songs that reminded me of fun, wonderful times spent in that very same place with him and his friends.
Yesterday was the 5 month mark of his death. I had to order a new storm door....Lowes and Home Depot. Cried most of the day. I took my brother and mother with me, but it didn't really help much. I missed my husband.
Today, cried waking up. My husband died on a Sunday. Today makes 22 weeks. I had to drop my brother at the airport. Cried buckets. Walked the dogs. Cried almost the whole time.
In group, we've discussed the rollercoaster of emotions. I am strapped in tight. Hopefully tomorrow the ride will start going up.

It is better when I CAN cry more...........if not, sometimes I just get stressed..........recently lost my voice for a couple of days............stress..........and then bone tired.....griefwork......so cry when you want to, as long as you want to ................at9 mo now....and am hoping the anticipation of all the anniversaries coming up in the next 3 mo are worse than the actual dates..............
L

Believe me it won't be your last. I am at 7 months and they happen all the time. I don't know what makes some days go by without tears and others are nothing but tears. When they hit me, I always feel like I am not going to ever have control. But then I have some good days in a row, remember the happier times without crying and I realize I can and will get through this.
Best wishes to you.

I am a week shy of 1 year and I still get the outbursts. I have been anxious about the 1 yr anniversay of his death coming up and i cry when i think about that i'll be crying on the anniversary day. You're floods will come and go and sometimes you have no control.

I went to a counselor right away and she told me I was crying too much and needed to think happy thought. I never went back as I didn't have any happy thoughts at that time except getting out of her office. I think counselors are a big help but not that one and I never went to another one i wish i had. Melt downs happen and sometimes I think they relieve a lot of pressure. Big Hugs!!!

Oh, yes, griefbursts. That's why we all differ with the historical literature, which has mourning go through a linear process as you pass through various stages. It's been likened on this board far more times to a rollercoaster. You never know when the next sneak attach might be - you might not even detect a trigger (song, commercial, stray thought). Just go with them, don't judge yourself, and count yourself lucky if for most of the day you can plod along without being beset by horrendous emotion and pain.

Hugs, Gail

I think the fact that it's only been three months is the "special reason" - it's perfectly normal for where you are right now. The grief bursts will come and go, and the times between them will eventually lengthen. And it can be the most surprising things that will set it off. Music was a real tough one for me - I could hardly listen to anything for months without crying my eyes out, and I can even remember being in a store dressing room when a song came on the store system that made me cry - and it was a song I didn't even like!

Try to remember to drink a lot of water so you don't get too dehydrated from the crying. Getting dehydrated will make you even more exhausted and feel even more fragile. I learned that the hard way, after I got so dehydrated I had muscle cramps and seemed to just fall apart everywhere I went.

I hope today you feel a little better.

Love and Hugs, Martha

The last two days have been very hard. Crying all the time. Even walking the dog. I had to pay the social security some money they had said they overpaid before he died. We asked for an explanation. Now I don't care, so I paid it. And I figured if it was going to be a bad day, I may as well pay for the funeral. oh well. had to be done. No wonder the tears keep flowing. Decisions to make.
Alone without my best friend. I imagine it will ebb. It's only 6 weeks and it's almost unbearable.

It's been almost 4 months now and yesterday I had to go to the Court House to get the property changed into just my name and as I was waiting, I thought I was hyperventalating.
It seemed like I losing another piece of her now with her name not anything. I held it together untill I got home and then the tears came. Your not alone in all this and it seems that just about any kind of emotion can pop up and anytime. Take care and hugs
Dan

I was shopping yesterday and I thought I was in control of my emotions. A song came on the radio and it was "My Daughter's Eyes" and I lost it. It can hit anytime. I felt so bad, and then I cried a little and got over it. Another song that got me while I was shopping was "Cherish" By Kool and The Gang. I had to get out of the store. It was so hard. Take care and hope things are better. Hugs~Shelley