Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members
19,465 Posts
0 Online
Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Meltdown

shewearsblack17
shewearsblack17

I thought I was through having these awful meltdowns, but no!  I get to church this morning;  I'm a few minutes late, not unusual for me.  We are adding on to the church, so parking is very limited, and the buses are lined up to be reloaded.  Not even many parking options on the street.  I finally swing into a non-designated parking place at the back - next to my late husband's Toyoto Tacoma pickup.  I sold it to a member of my church this past summer.  I can't explain it, but yet I can.  This truck was so "him."  It was his work truck.  Then our bishop gets up and talks about cancer and how someone would gladly pay millions of dollars to go to one of the treatment clinics in Mexico, Florida, or wherever in order to live.  This was never an option for us because of finances.  GoFundMe was also a joke; we got $200 and that from family!  I guess the cause was not great enough.  I know I'm venting, but I am fighting tears as I type.  Perhaps I should go for a drive - something other than stay home today till evening service.  Can't people in my world see my pain that I try so hard to mask??

mypenny2
mypenny2
That's hard..we are feeling so vulnerable...A couple weeks after my husband died...the Pastor had a four weeks series Sunday service called. A little thing called Marriage...I could not handle it....The next few weeks I watched Dr. David Jeremiah on tv.....My Pastor was with me when my Rick died at the hospital..I had to take him off life support...I guess he had the series already lined up...People ask how are you? What can you say...I just say today I am ok......Hang in there....we don't have much choice.....hugs
Jaxmate
Jaxmate
She, while we're walking our painful paths others continue on their own, seeming to ignore us. Like mypenny's Pastor's series "A Little Thing Called Marriage" with they proceed with their plans. Their eyes are facing forward and often they simply don't see us.
In spite of my not participating in an organized religion I know that churches were erected to serve as conduits for a Being who always sees you.

I hope that today's evening service brings you comfort.
Until then, cry as much as you need to and, when you're able, take that drive. You won't be driving alone.
Love to you.
raininseattle
raininseattle
I'm sorry, she. There is no good answer. It is impossible for people who haven't experienced this pain to understand what your world feels like. That's why I felt so lonely.

Go have a drive. Maybe the warmth of the sun will brighten the day for you.
scottito
scottito
Until it happens to us, we are all clueless how devastated anyone is when the death of the love of their life dies. Few ask, and if they do out of courtesy, they really don't want to hear about it. Hits too close to home, makes them too uncomfortable, just way too far out of their range of experiences they can relate to. Seeing your husband's truck had to be a huge trigger. I gave Juani's car away to the son and his family. Way too many memories were triggered by that car for me. I've also managed to stay away from the church we pastored for the same reason. So to me, everything you express sounds normal while riding this grief train. Scott
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • cedarbrooke

    As I Get Older....

    Posted by: cedarbrooke
    Last Reply: JazzyLady
    4
  • billwfriend

    I cannot get a cut and paste to post

    Posted by: billwfriend
    Last Reply: cedarbrooke
    5
    Old Hillbilly Wisdom:Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.The best sermons are lived, not preached.If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the...