March used to be a month I longed for but now im feeling somewhat lost and beaten. March was special because all in one week was my anniversary (7th), my birthday (10th) and my son's birthday (12th). Since losing my husband January 22, 2017 I've been just floating along but knowing that next week all of my happy times are going to be replaced with missing him so much and not wanting to celebrate anything. How do I get through this? One day I feel like I will be ok and that I am learning how to be by myself and then their are days I wanna curl up and never open my eyes. When i do think of him here lately all I can replay is the weekend he was sent home on hospice and on that Friday he was talking to me and telling me he would be ok then on Saturday he was sleeping all day never to hear his voice again and then Sunday the one moment i decided to walk outside for some fresh air since i had been sitting holding his hand for several hours straight and come back in and he was gone. Im just struggling right now and don't know which way to turn.