I'm so very sorry for your loss. Take it slowly. This is a difficult and confusing time. Grief is exhausting, so be gentle with yourself.

Hugs,
Tess

Hi Tess,

You don't know how much your kind words mean to me. I know what I'm facing is something all couples have to face and should not think others did not grieve or love like I did.

I just miss her but try talking with my wife before I go to sleep.

So sorry for your loss, my husband of 51 years suddenly died last year and the first months I lived in a fog of grief. I don’t know how you can prepare for the loss. There is no timetable don’t feel you need to be making all the decisions immediately do what is necessary and take the help offered,

Thank you ducklake.

I am sorry for your loss and appreciate the encouragement you have given me. I realize nobody is immune to this except the one who is lost first. But they watch over us and help us through it, the grieving stage followed by I guess the acceptance and slowly coming to grips and starting out on a new life, one that will never be the same but smiling anyway

I think you should get a bracelet with her name on it, it will help receiving.

So sorry for your loss mjgardenia. Love that you wrote they watch over us and help us through it. I believe so.
I think you were blessed to have had her beside you for 43 years. Hold on to those memories and yes...do smile
WR x

They become part of us. A lady i help her husband died last Saturday after 65 years married. My first husband fell to his death after 2 years and my second husband and I were together for 36 years. I envy people who have had their spouses for that long..and I wonder if its worse though. Being together for so long. Its been 4.5 years for me now since he left and am able to not think of him all the time even though i remember him everyday. Life just keeps on going on and on but there is some happiness now . Its never the same because i have changed and i hope for the better

I’m sorry for your loss. Everyone goes through death so instead of focusing on her passing, focus on the appreciation that you had a chance to meet her and spend many years together. She would have passed away even if she wasn’t with you but with someone else so isn’t it blessing that it was you whom she spend rest of her life with ? You are going to feel many emotions, up and down for some time to come but believe that it’s all part of adjusting/accepting process. You need to be very patient with yourself and don’t expect it’s going to be short term healing process. 43 years is a long time and you will need some time to process the sudden change, accept the change and adjust accordingly. Be aware that you got very used to seeing her, doing things, discussing things together but now that is no more, you are going to feel some gap/emptiness and that is very natural. It’s the differences (living with her and living by yourself) that you are going to feel and depending on how close you two were and level of interaction you two had, it can feel quite a huge gap in your life. Just know that it’s all part of the process and take it day by day. If it becomes too painful, even having someone physically next to you may help. Maybe call your close friends, your kids, grandkids and ask them to stay over at your place for few days every now and then. They are not your wife and it’s definitely not going to feel the same but it may help lessen that big gap/differences in your life for now and until you get used to the change. Adopting and taking care of abandoned pet, helping those who is having it tough, going through pain/suffering could also help. Changing the pain you have to healing/helping others can also in turn help heal yours. But all this is after you have fully processed and acknowledged her passing which you might want to do it alone without outside distraction. The above are for during adjusting period if you find it too difficult to adjust to the different/new life.
In fact, take this as a second chance in life and you get to live a different life/experience. Was there anything that you wanted or pursue but couldn’t because it conflicted with your wife’s interest? Any hobbies/interest/activities? What would you have done, how would you have lived if you didn’t marry and lived solo ? Don’t feel guilty even if you happen to move pass this difficult stage quickly and move on with your life. No one with right heart will want their love one to suffer painfully when they pass away, in fact, she will be more relived to see you find your ground and stability and she will be able to move on more peacefully.