I wish I could tell you it gets easier. But it doesn't in the near future if she was a true love, which seems to be the common bond of all of us here. All of us were one with our the love of our life, and their death rocked everyone of us to the depths of our soul. Right now, you are in shock and that is for your benefit, because we are not wired to handle a death such as ours. The shock insulates us from the full rush of emotions that comes later. But I promise you, time will heal our broken hearts. How long? No one knows and everyone is different. But you have to let yourself grieve when your grief wants to grieve. No rights and no wrongs in this. We all just do the best that we can, minute by minute, hour by hour, whatever it takes to get us through the day. Grieving is the hardest work you'll ever do. So you've got to take care of yourself. Drinks lots of water because the tears will dehydrate you. And you've got to eat to keep nourishing your body. And you've got to force yourself to get adequate rest -- sleep is a problem for most of us early in our grief. Writing my emotions and experiences helped me more than anything. Leaning on and helping others here in the same boat was also a great help to me. My grief changed me into a better person today, and forced me to take a good hard look at myself. I'm still screwed up at nearly 2 years, but I've settled into a whole lot better way of living life. I live for today because I learned the hard way that not one of us is promised tomorrow. Forget about the why's, what if's, would'ves, could'ves and should'ves. They are a waste of precious energy you need to survive, and if you go there, you'll find no answers and endless loops. While not a one of us goes through exactly the same things or reactions, the entire process is similar among all of us. We get it here, only because we've been living it. I hang onto that there must be purpose for my remaining, and that my wife successfully finished her race. I often think that this is a common experience for man from the beginning, and somehow mankind has survived. And there is nothing worse. But in the end, we will discover who we are and what is really important to us in this life. Hang in there, my friend. Shalom. ~~~ Scottie

you poor, poor, dear soul! it will get easier to accept. and yes it will be horrifically hard until that, time, but IT WILL get easier to accept - in time.
reach out to us anytime - day or night - as it will make you feel better to express yourself. and though we do not see one another, and might not respond immediately, know that every last man and woman here have been through what you are going through. we understand you totally. and we know you can be okay. we will get through this together.

So sorry for your loss. My 57 year old husband died 2 weeks before your wife. He had multiple medical issues, had been bedridden for 3 years, on palliative care for 7 months, and on comfort cares that past 3 weeks of his life. What helps me get through this is knowing that he is in a better place, where his body is whole (Then the lame will leap like deer - Isaiah 35:6) and we will meet again up yonder. Grief is a 5 stage process, everyone goes through it at their own pace, but it will get better. I pray that God will hold you in his hands and that soon happy memories will outshadow the pain.

You were strong when you had to be. Part of processing this heart wrenching loss is feeling it. I am going on my 3 year mark without my husband of 22 years. I felt completely disabled when it happened--just sick inside. I am still feeling pretty "homesick" (as I refer to it), but somehow we learn to function again. There is always that line, however, that marks the parts of my life, and it reads, "before" and "after." I hope that you have a strong support system, and a prayer life. The pain you're feeling is equal to the love you must have had in your marriage. My prayers to you, fellow warrior.

I lost my husband on 02/28/17, 18 months he fought for his life and told me all the time he didn't want to leave me. At the end I told him he needed to stop fighting and rest and meet me at the gates when I get there. I am sick inside as well. Over whelming sadness erupts at a any moment and I feel like I am wandering aimlessly through our house. I ask God to give me strength and peace daily. My heart goes out to you and hopefully we have moments of calm.

Grief is like an onion, it has many layers. As the days and years go by you peel a layer away at a time. Yes, there will come a time when you can get through a whole day without crying. Yes, there will come a time when you will hear yourself laughing and it wont sound strange. Then one day you wake up and there again is that special song or the sun is streaming through the window just the way it did on that once long ago special day.... the grief surge is upon you once again.
My grief is a lot like my arthritis, some days are painful and some days are not so much. But I have learned how to go about my life even on my most painful days and so will you in time.

Joy, sorrow
Here, gone
So describes our lives...
Take little steps....
We each grieve in our own way, in our own time...

Do what you can, tomorrow will come...
Life is a changing journey, now intertwined with grief.
It is beneficial to talk with others who have experienced our loss. A local hospital or church may sponsor support groups.
The highs & lows do level out in time...
jdp