Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Lost my love

Savannah17
Savannah17

My husband and I were in car accident last September -- driving from New Jersey to Georgia to start a new life. He was killed instantly and four of our five pets died in crash as well. I will never forget the scene of the accident. It looked like the aftermath of a plane crash. A nurse saw the accident and came running out of her car to assist us. It was too late. My husband was already dead. Two of cats were struggling to get up, but could not. They were badly injured. I relive the accident many times, and see my husband lying dead. 


I joined a widows and widowers grief support group for a while, which helped tremendously. Also made a very good friend there.


I just started seeing a therapist who specializes in PTSD.  I am hopeful she will provide with some coping skills so I can try to live with less pain and fear.


I wish you all love and support.

Missmyanne
Missmyanne
And we you Savannah. I don't know what is worse. Watching our loves die day by day through illness and disease or having them ripped from our lives. Here one moment gone the next as you and I have experienced. Neither is easy. Good thoughts and best wishes to you and yours.
Savannah17
Savannah17
Thank you, Missmyanne. None of it is good. It just is. All we can do is keep going as best we can, right?
vwidow
vwidow
Hi. I worked with a man (part of our landscaping crew) that had been in an auto accident. I didn't know the details. I just know that whenever we had to drive somewhere he would be saying slow down to the driver and getting all uptight. I'm sure that was his natural reaction to what he'd been through- his safety mechanism. I hope you are coping with your tragedy. If I learn of some way to help you regarding the reliving of the scene, I will post it here. May God be at your side, Savannah. Anita...Mark 16:16
Missmyanne
Missmyanne
Right!!
Savannah17
Savannah17
Thank you, vwidow. I really appreciate your comment. Best to you and yours.
LostwithoutPat
LostwithoutPat
So very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband suddenly to a pulmonary embolism and keep reliving the scene over and over in my mind. Haven't been to any counseling but have considered it for the trauma. This site has helped tremendously.

Hoping you find some relief for your pain and fear. Hugs to you.
Unique
Unique
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband very suddenly too and was reliving that night over and over; waking up to his gasping for air, feeling how cold his body was, calling 911, administering CPR, having our bedroom torn apart and turned into an emergency room, the hospital, the doctor, social worker...etc etc. I saw a therapist who specialized in PTSD too and underwent EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy. I have to say it helped me with tragic events of that night. I still mourn and grieve my husband but the movie of that night has stopped playing continuously in my head. I also meditate daily, practice yoga and journal all which help me stay in the present moment. Peace and hugs to you.
geo70
geo70
Sorry for your loss.
EMDR may be a good route to deal with the terror of the incident.
I eventually stopped reliving what I imagined the accident my wife was in must have looked like. I just don't allow myself to dwell on the details now.
Savannah17
Savannah17
LostwithoutPat, Unique and geo70, thank you so much for your kind words. The new therapist I started seeing does EMDR and said she would like me to do it, but not right now.