LO47,

I am sorry you lost your better half....Nothing leaves as large a void in my opinion. It is just awful!!

You are not whining, this is all so hard and you had a second kick in the guts to deal with. I just had the one year on Thanksgiving of my wife’s passing. I miss her everyday and cry almost every day still. The guilt for me is a real force against healing so I understand. I have connected to a local widowed group and have found some real friends on this site that have helped so much. Be kind to yourself...whine, cry, yell when you feel that way and healing will come with time and sharing your story and connecting with people.

Best wishes to us all in this difficult month!!!

Joe

My husband had COPD. Really got to him 4 years before he died. Guilt will get you no where but more stress. Was not your fault. I understand it though because even now 4.9 years later i think of what i could have done differently.. and realize I have to forgive myself for having emotions too. I am not sure if losing a spouse is the hugest void but it feels like it. Life must go on just differently.( Hugs)

I lost my wife two years ago and like most of us on this site know the devastation of being in your shoes. I needn't describe the emotions and pain that you are all too familiar with, but the characterization of their impact on you as "whining" is grossly unfair to you. Expressing one's emotions after such tragedy and trying to cope with the loss is what you would expect of others. You deserve the same consideration for yourself. Your words speak much more of compassion and mourning than they do of guilt and whining. The burden of your grief is hard enough. There is no justification to compound that burden with unfair critiques of yourself that no one else sees.

Leftover47 I lost my better half a little over 2 months ago after a long battle with MSA Parkinson's. I also did the best I could but in the end we both knew it was inevitable. I think that you have found a good place with good people who know what it feels like first hand. My wife passed while I slept only a few feet away. I can understand the guilt 0f that. I question myself at times as to why didn't I wake up. I don't believe that any of us will go through any anniversary or holiday ever again without some pain. I have been told it gets better, give it some time... As the replies said before you are not whining. When you said you didn't have time to grieve I can see that also. A few people here have told me it's time for me to be selfish and take care of myself first. It is good advice. I am sorry for your loss and hope you decide to chat more.

To all who sent me a reply. Thank you for your input. It seems to help. M Xmas to all.

Knowing your not alone with these feelings is what still keeps me going. Sharing helps all to keep us out of the void of darkness. Merry Xmas to you as well.