I'm sorry for your loss, that you are here. This is a place that we share our thoughts, stories, sympathies and encouragement.

Your story reminds me of this article by Megan Devine:
https://www.dailystrength.org/journals/megan-devine-the-early-days-of-grief-are-a-world-of-their-own

I lost my husband of 40 years suddenly 20 months ago. I had to take a mild sleeping pill every night for the first 5 months or I didn't sleep at all. Those early months are so difficult. Gradually you will feel better as time goes by - you get used to it but you don't get over it. This message board was a big help to me and I still come here often.

Very sorry. Not much compares to the loss of your life partner. Though death is usually never a welcomed guest.Please endure. You can pour out your heart to God too. Not a lot to be said that can assuage the sorrow. One thing is that others have suffered this kind of grief as well. It is not uncommon though you may feel out of touch in the world. Keeping a daily journal helped me. Writing down the thoughts. Even though we can't change things to result in the only thing that matters to us- havng them back. Someday we may be reunited after this life. That's what I hope toward. My memories of us have to suffice for now...

I am so very sorry for your loss. When it happens quickly with no time to prepare or say another “I love you’, it must be extremely difficult. I had time to do that with my husband, but the grief has been like a punch to the gut. He died about 10 weeks ago.

Either I sleep 10 or 12 hours, or I’m awake for up to 60 hours. It’s a vicious cycle. It seems like there is nothing that is important anymore. So, I totally understand what you are going through. Coming to this site to share your feelings or to read what others have to say is very helpful. It truly helps to talk about it. I hope it will give you some peace to be here too. God bless you....Linda

Driver, the only thing I remember helping was a very long warm hug from a friend I'd shared suffering with long before this. We stood in the aisle and she just held me swaying back and forth ForEver.
A man said "I believe that is longest hug I have ever seen in my life..."
It was not long enough.
My husband died suddenly in bed with me before dawn, the same week as our 41st anniversary. It was all a blur,.. it is over 2 1/2 yrs later for me. You've been sawed in half and its a slow bleed.
Shock is your friend...

My husband passed away almost 11 months ago after a long, gruesome battle with cancer. At first I had nightmares and trouble sleeping. This happened in my living room, with no one but me there. So I moved six months later; it has helped some, but the loneliness is still prevalent. I have to keep noise on most of the day unless I'm reading. Most of my family live across the country, and I only have one close friend here in town. I don't know what I would do without her support! I am trying to purchase a headstone. I got so far with it and just kind of froze; it's on hold. At the same time, I feel ready to have a man "friend," but have been condemned for those thoughts. I miss having a man to talk to, and people don't understand. They think I am being disrespectful. I feel like I have to move forward, or I will stay where I am or just fade away. I am not old, but I am not young. I just don't like being alone. I may move back to where my siblings, sons, and grand-kids are, but I hate to leave a good church also. My world is upside down. It's one hour at a time, one day at a time. I dread the holidays coming up. I didn't ask for this, and I feel like I am being punished, even more so since this is round two for me.

Thanks to all for the kind words,