I had lots of trouble in the beginning about going to church alone. It hurts so much not to have him right next to me. He was always very loving in church and would always hold my hand or rub my neck when it hurt. I still don't like going alone, I miss him so much. It will get easier as time passes, just give it time.
hugs,
JoAnn

Church is the hardest place for me to be without Chris. He was a music evangelist and we spent most Sundays going to various churches for him to sing/lead worship. The first 6plus months I cried through church...especially the singing portion and in my mind I saw my baby singing/leading. I just found a new church home. Although I loved our church, it is 100% married with 90% having children...I needed a church with a little more diversity. Church is still hard but I am getting to where I tear up momentarily and then am able to get a grip rather than sobbing the whole time. It is hard to understand why the Lord's house is so hard to be in without our love but I relate to what you are saying...hugs to you.

I still have problems when I go to church too. It should be aplace of comfort but it is hard to see all of the longtime couples together while you sit alone. The sermon is the hardest as we would always hold hands then. I keep trying as I know I need the lord in my life but I keep asking him to make it a little easier.
Russ

Progress takes time. Invest in it. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. I continued at my church. My husband was the drummer. After praise and worship we always sat together and cuddled too.
It's gotten better for me. I go to church to see other people, worship God and strengthen my faith. That's why I went before.
There is no marriage in heaven. Only on earth. God set the standards for marriage. It is a blessing that we had marriage. You will see your loved one again.

I totally understand your feelings. My wife and I attended church together all during our married life. Even after she was in a wheelchair I still took her to church. It was a lot of work but I loved sitting next to her in the back of the church where the handicap sections is. At the end of the service people would always stop and talk to us before we left. Since she has been gone I normally only go to church when it is my turn to help with the service. The times I have gone by my self I have felt so alone and did not what to be there.

Thank you all, makes me feel better to know I am not losing it. Darn, it so hard. This afternoon I am trying to change a sprinkler head, first time, really made a mess, sand in the hole and on and on. Hubby always did that, wish I would have at least watched. My grandkids called this afternoon so cheery and happy, made things a little better.

I ended up having to change churches because of this. We hadn't been going to that particular church for long, so no friends or anything. Just that I spent so much time thinking about him being there, I couldn't concentrate on anything else.

It will take time.

I remember the struggle of sitting in church and trying to hold it together until I could get to the car. At first, the tears were a constant, but eventually I could focus on the worship. Even years later, though, there are certain hymns that take me back to the excruciating pain of those first months. There is no easy way to make it through those painful memories until the wonderful, blessed memories override the sad ones. Gratefulness finally wins the battle of what becomes our focus. Blessings to you as you walk toward. TJ

Sorry.......I meant to say "Blessings to you as you walk forward." TJ

That is why I love this group....I thought I was the only one to find going to church is so hard. We loved going to church together. Seems that is the place I miss him most. My sweet 15 yr old granddaughter has been going with me.

I actually had to stop going to our church because of that. In addition, everyone there was grieving so it was a double whammy. I am back now, but sometimes I catch myself looking into the congregation for her. Her presence is strong there.

My husband was an usher and sang in the Men's Choir. I worked in the finance room so, we were not together unless there was a special program. I still miss him as we always went to church together and we would come home together. The first time I saw the Men's choir march in, I broke down crying and I still see him ushering. We have been members, me, 30 years, him, 25. He was also a part time landscaper for the church. He started out just wanting to volunteer after he retired, and they offered a position working when he wanted to. When I go to bible class on Tuesday Morning, I would see him watering the flowers, or picking up debris and I really miss seeing him.