you are probably in shock right now,hold back on all major decisions as your judgement is clouded by grief. hopefully the memories you made together in your will offer you some comfort in times to come.

Hi Kim....I am so sorry for your loss and understand totally. My husband died Aug 17 this year. I miss him very much. I am all alone. This was a second marriage for us. His children live a 5 hour drive away and my daughter lives a 6 hour drive in the opposite direction. We had friends, that seem to have forgotten me. Both sets of our parents are gone.

I have always enjoyed quiet time, but i’m getting a little too much of it now. I have travelled to my daughter’s house and spent a couple of weeks. I always enjoy coming back to OUR home though. I feel closer to my husband at home and right now, it is where I want to be.

After your mom leaves and you are in your home alone, you will cry. But you will feel the presence of your husband more. You will be able to remember him and think of memories that are exclusive to you and him as a couple. I hope you will find comfort in that. When you feel a bit overwhelmed by the memories, get out of the house....go for a walk, visit a friend, go shopping. It is a process....take care of yourself.

I love our home that we shared together and don’t want to ever leave it. But, you may be different. Give it some time and if you still can’t find peace in your home, then you may have to move on. You can’t run from grief though...it will follow you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care.....Linda

Thank you, Linda. I have so many mixed feelings about our home, and am terrified that I'll have to sell it because I cannot afford it without his income. I am meeting with a probate attorney tomorrow, so we'll see what happens. I'm really not looking forward to this part of being a widow.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and the fact that you're far away from your daughter. I'm sending you thoughts and cyberhugs. {{{{{{Linda}}}}}}}

Kim

so sorry for your loss, I have a friend who just lost her husband the week of Thanksgiving, they have two young children, so I know it is a process. I personally do not know about loosing a spouse to death- did loose a husband of 20 years through divorce and I went through all the stages of grief and even though I'm remarried I find myself grieving different things. Do you have some grief counseling classes in your area? I know my friend is doing this with her boys (ages 5 and 11). sending prayers and want to encourage you with two of my favorite scriptures for when I've lost loved ones... John 5:24 and 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18. I know many widowers who sale their home and some who stay in it- I will be praying that you will find the best option for you and that you will be comforted.

I'm sorry for your loss. My husband at 52 died unexpectedly just over 2 years ago. We have 2 sons, 26 and 20 at the time, I was devastated as I'm sure you are. I hated being home the first year. I found solace in close friends and family and exhausted myself by avoiding being home and going somewhere 6 nights a week. After a year I physically had to stay home as I was truly exhausted.

Time really does help, even thought I hated it when people would say that to me. It really is true. I kept telling myself, "the difference between loneliness and solitude is attitude." Solitude has a calmer, more pleasant feel to the word. I had many lonely nights of crying and now I have more frequent nights and weekends when I'm glad to be home where I can just relax and rest and do what I want to do.

You WILL get through this! Keep trying to look for the good each day, even if it is something small. Stay engaged in the world, and most importantly, take time to take care of yourself.

Thank you KimH (my maiden name starts with H, so I almost thought you were me, lol).

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you're feeling stronger and experiencing joy. I worry that because we didn't have kids, I don't have much to focus on except my sadness and grief.

I am already finding so many excuses to be out of the house, and am so tired, too. I've never been good by myself, have never enjoyed the solitude, even when I lived by myself before we got married. So this doesn't surprise me that I don't want to be alone in this house. I love our home, and my husband loves this home, too. I hope I can eventually feel comfortable here.

Thank you - you are right about the difference between loneliness and solitude is attitude. I will try to remember that as often as possible.

Very similar feelings about the empty feeling house and family being 3 1/2 hours away. My wife has been gone almost 10 weeks after a 3 week battle
with colon cancer.
Coming home to the house was the hardest part so far. I trick I have been doing is, leave the TV playing during the day. When I open the door, I am not slapped in the face with the emptiness and despair as bad.
We each find little things along this long road that help to learn to live our new lives.

just wanted to say hope today has been a good day. Praying for you still.

Thank you fibrowarrior! I definitely have my moments, and the sadness seems like it's taking up permanent residency in my heart. But I'm managing, and I think that's all I can ask of myself right now.

How are you?