Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
It has been 14 months since my husband died. Many of my former friends apparently don't seem to want me around and months after he died I looked online for widows support groups/activities - but I don't recall finding a lot. (I do have a few other friends I still see though.)
Inspired by a single friend my age who has never been married but is involved with lots of different things, I went online and looked again. Wow - did I ever find lots of different things that I somehow missed before.
I recently started going to a widows support group that is 2x a month for people 55 and under. It is done thru a hospice program that also sponsors get-togethers like lunches, dinners, etc. several times a month for widows/widowers.
Through a chuch group I saw online, I saw another place that has tons of activities for singles - never married, divorced or widowed. They have a calendar with something listed on EVERY day. Some are activities in homes (parties, murder mysteries) others are outside activities or at restaurants. They make it a point to stress it is not a dating service or for people looking to hook up with someone.
My friend joins different singles interest groups and now is in one that gets together and walks and also a tennis group.
Just a suggestion - so many people are talking about how they are lonely - or they don't know many people. I'm in a suburb of a big city so maybe there is more around here - but give it a try. I'm not going to feel bad about my "former" friends anymore. I think I can meet new friends who will be better than the old anyway.
Inspired by a single friend my age who has never been married but is involved with lots of different things, I went online and looked again. Wow - did I ever find lots of different things that I somehow missed before.
I recently started going to a widows support group that is 2x a month for people 55 and under. It is done thru a hospice program that also sponsors get-togethers like lunches, dinners, etc. several times a month for widows/widowers.
Through a chuch group I saw online, I saw another place that has tons of activities for singles - never married, divorced or widowed. They have a calendar with something listed on EVERY day. Some are activities in homes (parties, murder mysteries) others are outside activities or at restaurants. They make it a point to stress it is not a dating service or for people looking to hook up with someone.
My friend joins different singles interest groups and now is in one that gets together and walks and also a tennis group.
Just a suggestion - so many people are talking about how they are lonely - or they don't know many people. I'm in a suburb of a big city so maybe there is more around here - but give it a try. I'm not going to feel bad about my "former" friends anymore. I think I can meet new friends who will be better than the old anyway.
jerseydebbie
My friends are married and not available to do things with me like I would want. My single friends either are financially constrained or have been there/done that already. So, I put myself out there and just did. Now I am involved in ceramics and bingo. I sell on eBay for others at a commission, run a part-time business, and oversee projects in my church. I don't have time to be lonely, but I haven't been since my hubby passed. I know he is always with me 24/7.
limasc
I have always been a shy person, took a long time for me to be confortable with people and I always was behind my husband who was a social person. I have learned that I had to change my ways or I would be lonely forever. I have forced myself to get out and do things, go places by myself, reach out to others and ask them to do things instead of waiting for an invitation. I have made lots of new friends and don't feel quite as lonely. I will always miss my husband, but I have found others to spend some time with. If I just sit at home, thinking too much, it makes me miss him so much more. Keeping busy and stepping outside my comfort zone has changed my life so much. It was difficult and still is sometimes, but I know that's what I need.
IClaimTheCross
I'll admit that for the first year, I was not really much fun. If being family or a friend were only about fun, there would be little meaning to any relationship. We have grown into a shallow society, as a whole and lost many of the skills to be attentive to those who are in need, emotionally after a loss or tragic event. It's not about finding the right time to attend to a hurting friend or family member, it is about making the time and helping them come back to life, by not being forgotten or shelved because it takes away from our happy time.
widowhoodsucks
I would love to find a good friend going through the same thing that I am. I'm such a homebody and not good at putting myself out there.
deleted_user
I do a lot - I'm a can't sit still kind of person, but it doesn't take away my being lonely. I've never been a ''girlfriend'' person, because I never shared my deeper thoughts with anyone. Sure I ''get along'' and have fun, and have girlfriends, and man friends that I enjoy, but as far as deeper, more meaningful thoughts and feelings, I only shared that with my husband. I have a really good girlfriend who I love, and just enjoy her brain, but I'm limited in what I can share with her, I don't want to show my dark side because she will try to fix it - Jerry just let me fix it myself.. Just my opinion, but I think ''activities'' don't equate to a ''life'. I want a life with someone again.
deleted_user
Mgould - thank you for the suggestions! There is also a group on the net called Meetup.com - they operate in most areas of the country. You can meet like minded people for a variety of activities - skiing, hiking, restaurant hoping, walking groups, etc. Many of these activities do not cost a thing - just show up! I think getting out and meeting new people is hard to do but absolutely necessary.
Jdslas
I joined a sports and ski club last year in the city I live in. It includes singles, widows and married folks. Really nice group of people. They offer a multitude of things to do. Just last weekend some of us went snow shoeing up in the mountains and had a great time. I'm planning my first trip out of town with this group in a few weeks to spend three days snow shoeing and staying in a neat lodge in the mountains. Looking forward to it, but admittedly a little nervous too. I've never been much of a joiner but feel my other option is to sit at home and feel sorry for myself. I'm trying to make a life for myself...some days though it's easier said then done..... Deb
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