I was sitting here just now thinking the same thing when I read your post..I understand where you're coming from...I don't know if therapy will help, but I guess it couldn't hurt...I think I'll try it myself...I was going to call a few weeks ago, but kept putting it off...hugs, wendi

Hi Michele,

So sorry. I feel that way too, it comes and goes. Sometimes there's a trigger, other times it seems unpredictable. To answer your question--yes, it is normal, but also, yes, therapy would likely be useful. I say this from experience. Medication can also help. My dear late wife was a therapist, and she was also very supportive and also particular about medication. So for me, therapy and medication make me feel like I have a bit of a connection to her. Every person is different though. You might need to try more than one therapist to find one you like. Like doctors. Best wishes and hugs.

Oh I totally understand what your saying & feeling.
I keep saying, why aren't there answers for our grieving...
Like you, I miss his voice, his kisses, touching him etc.
and knowing that in this life not the afterlife, we never will and
that's the most excoriating feeling.......

I hope its time, but I really don't know.......
Just so glad we have each other to lean on & express our
feelings daily if need be.....

Hi Michele ! I have been considering therapy too. I hate to go in a way, but then someone just maybe be able to offer me coping skills and some good advice. It may just be worth the time and spent emotions, it wears me out to talk about everything, the crying uncontrolably, and then my blood pressure goes nuts too. I will consider it if I don't start to feel better in another month or two. So tired of all this crazy !! So just know that we all here understand and wish we could help each other more but then we are here for each other. That does help some, huh ?
Hugs to you,
Ruthann

I understand what you are saying. Many of us do, because it is not uncommon for these feelings to overcome us. Yes, as horrible as it is, it's normal for those who lost their lives as they knew it and planned it. I chose to go to counseling and was very fortunate to have a therapist I related to. I asked my primary doctor who he would recommend and talking to him was a big help. Sharon

I started grief counseling about two weeks after my husband died. But I decided to get counseling right around the time of his passing. I looked at it as a gift that I would give myself-or a gift from him- to help me get my life back. I am so glad I accepted this gift.

At first I went weekly, then bi-weekly. It was offered through the Hospice organization that provided his end of life care. There was not cost, although I would have paid if necessary. It was worth it.

I was able to connect with my counselor and talk about things that I couldn't discuss with my friends, family or pastor. She asked the right questions to open my emotions and get me moving in my grief. I knew I didn't want to be stuck in grief for years and she was able to keep me focused on processing my emotions. I have a long ways to go but I am moving forward.....slowly but surely.

I miss my husband terribly. Today is our wedding anniversary and his death was less than three months ago. Some days I still am in disbelief that I have this whole life ahead of me without him and all the plans we made and the life we enjoyed.

Thanks to my counselor, I made plans for today with my daughters and granddaughters. I took the day off work and just plan to spend it with them. Without my counselor helping me make plans for this day, I would have been lost.

We have lost so much...what do we have to lose by trying counseling? It may be just the thing you need to help the healing begin.

Hugs, Sable

I completely get your "fear"..I became fearful of everything when I finally came out of denial....and it took me almost 2 years to be able to really accept the" he is gone " I swear I even developed phobias. I have always moved to my own beat and took different paths and felt so lost and alone. One day I really had to ask myself what I was afraid of and my answer was living...I was afraid of living...that brought me to looking back at all the amazing people..expierences. .things that had been brought to me by my faith and trust in my maker.i have to continue to trust in his plan. I no longer feel that horrible feeling of fear..it's more a nervous thing...I hope to see that dwindle so to do that I need to live. .and trust. Sending you a deep hug and a hand...I may not be one of the strongest but i am determined..I promise to share with you anything really ugly if I come across anything as I chop through this jungle

I am sorry about the loss of your husband, I know it seems like you are on an emotional roller coaster right now but it will get better. Dont beat yourself up over what ifs just remember you did the best you could. I didnt use therapy but I see where it could help, talking with someone could help and may be worth a try. Another option may be joining a group, you may check with hospice to see whats available in your area. I found going to church and praying helped, it didnt stop the roller coaster but it helped.

Keep in mind grief takes time and at some point the fear and pain will get better, I pray you find peace.

Hugs,
Ron

KimKos - that was absolutely spot on.

Michele - I did go to a therapist for the first year. He listened to me, simply listened - and that was what I needed, an objective ear. Did it help in the long run? Probably not so much, but some of the things he said still stay with me, so I'd say it was a positive. I've no answer for your questions - none of us have the answer. Yes, what you're feeling is normal. Grief is the flip side of love - and for us, left behind, it's so painful. Hugs, Marsha

you described me all weekend, it was the 3rd month anniversary this weekend. I survived it but it was rough. I think it's normal for how far I am in my journey. You have a lot to recover from. Only you know if you think you need therapy - do you feel you move 2 steps forward and then one back or are you stuck or moving further back than you are forward? Just a few questions you many want to ask yourself. But no, you are not alone in your thoughts and emotions. And I'm sure you are still exhuausted. It has taken me 3 montns to have the true exhuastion leave, now I'm just down to very tired. Caring for an ill spouse is exhausting despite how much we would not trade the time we spent with them for all the rest in the world.