Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
In my youth I often heard people say, 'Life is short.' Although I believed them, I never really felt it until the past few months. Seems like the headlines are full of people who just died that I consider still young because they were on TV or in the headlines when I was a kid. Lets see: Tony Curtis, Anne Francis, Michael Jackson, Susanna York, the actress from Last Tango in Paris, the guy who sang 'Stuck in the Middle with You.' I know some where old enough to be my parent, but lately I've seen headlines where the person was only 50 something or 60 something. Yet for me they are ever frozen in my mind as the young, vibrant people they were back in the 1960s. Hard to beleive the entire cast of Bewitched is mostly gone, but only the kids remain alive today.
And this year, the oldest baby boomer can wear the title "Elderly" when they turn 65 this year. And yet the 1960s seemed like yesterday. Aren't our newly elderly still sitting out there on the beach, long hair swinging in the wind, chanting Kumbaya? Aren't Frank Sanitra and Dean Martin still performing in Vegas? And Where's Bob Hope?
They're all gone and I'm feeling the passage of time. It grounds me in so many ways. When I lost my husband, I spent months asking God to take me. It seemed the years ahead streched out endlessly. But do they? Not when you consider that the 60s felt like yesterday, but the decade actually started 50 years ago.
Which reminds me. As a child I loved old movies. One day I was watching a film that I considered ancient. It was 1966 and my ancient film was only thirty years old, but to me, it may as well have been made in the 1800s.
Life is short. Let's live it!
And this year, the oldest baby boomer can wear the title "Elderly" when they turn 65 this year. And yet the 1960s seemed like yesterday. Aren't our newly elderly still sitting out there on the beach, long hair swinging in the wind, chanting Kumbaya? Aren't Frank Sanitra and Dean Martin still performing in Vegas? And Where's Bob Hope?
They're all gone and I'm feeling the passage of time. It grounds me in so many ways. When I lost my husband, I spent months asking God to take me. It seemed the years ahead streched out endlessly. But do they? Not when you consider that the 60s felt like yesterday, but the decade actually started 50 years ago.
Which reminds me. As a child I loved old movies. One day I was watching a film that I considered ancient. It was 1966 and my ancient film was only thirty years old, but to me, it may as well have been made in the 1800s.
Life is short. Let's live it!
Ken
(Busy making my list)
In 2008 I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. That January they told me I had at best 12-18 months to live. I lost my nursing career...we lost the home we had worked for all our lives...but we didn't lose each other or our family strength.
When Bill and I found the Cottage to rent the initial plan was to stay he until he lost me...and then retire to Texas where we have a large "musical family"...unrelated but loved as if they were.
In 2009 I was adapting to some of the changes that came with FRED (...yes I named the damn thing...) and on medication that helps with some of the more aggravating symptoms...but still very much alive. The slow growth stymied the neurosurgeon. And I was still refusing radiation and chemotherapy...seems like it makes you feel so much worse and then you die anyway. Not seeing the point.
By August 2009 they diagnosed Bill with Leukemia. It was extremely aggressive. Even after the BMT the odds only rose from 25% to 50%. It was on again/off again...you have beat it...no it is back...we went through this for the entire year of 2010. We talked about if he made it we were BOTH going to head to Texas in 2011. At the end of November we knew we had weeks left. So we made the most of them together. He passed away December 24, 2010.
FRED is still living in my head. In October they reported only 2 mm of new growth. I am entering my third year. Statistically, mortality drops to 0 at 5 years...that is what my doctor says...I just nod and smile and tell him that I will feel good until I don't feel good anymore.
Our last night together Bill told me he would wait for me...I believe him.
Life is too short.
LIVE.
I have a strong moral code that I will never break and I am happy with this.
I have done a lot of things in my 70 years; it is so close I might as well admit to being 70.
Sometimes I think there is nothing left to do. Then something comes along that interest me.
These things are the little things in life, and most are free.
Life is too short to limit yourself, each moment is important.
Even the moments that bring us to our knees while they are not enjoyable will be gotten through. We had love and happiness in our lives. Think of the people that never had this.
Hugs, Holly