Having navigated through 2 and a half years of widowhood, I feel like I have experienced most all the feelings one could have when a soulmate is lost. I began feeling absolutely blown away, terrified, alone, looking at what I thought was no future whatsoever. My pain made me think I would die. In fact, I wanted to die and went through some very hard times during which members here uplifted me incredibly and encouraged me to hang in there. I did and I'm so grateful.

My biggest problem was wondering how life could be worth living without my most important confidante, friend, and lover. Losing him left a HUGE hole in my life. How could I go on with only half a life?

The answer I found is that I had to learn to love more deeply those who I have left in my life. All that love that I lavished on my sweetheart, I had to transfer somewhere else. It was an evolution for me. I always loved my family members, but Joe was the bulk of my life and all my work and efforts. I didn't love my family members nearly as much before Joe died.

Since Joe has died, I have experienced more love, more deeply, from my family and church friends. They have slowly, ever so slowly, helped to fill up the gaping hole in my heart. I treasure these people SO MUCH MORE now. I found that LOVE is what we need. The best love is our beloved,but when he is no longer here, LOVE in any form is what will heal us.