Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
As I began life after my husband's sudden death, I wondered if I would ever laugh again. Then, as time rolled by I was afraid I would. I guess you would call that an oxymoron. There seemed to be so little in life to coax even a smile during those first weeks. What a blessing when the day arrived that I could recall some incident in our married years that not only brought a smile but I caught myself laughing out loud at the memory.
For me, that memory was when my husband's brother and sister-in-law were visiting from out of state. In preparation for their visit, I had made an apple pie. After dinner that evening, we all settled down to chit chat and have dessert. Beaming with a false sense of culinary pride, I brought out the pie and began serving it. I asked my husband if he wanted his topped with ice cream, and his reply was that he didn't care for any pie at that time. Like a dunce, I didn't let that pass and asked why. Well, to my surprise, he said, 'I've never really cared for apple pie.'
Now the kicker is that we had been married for 35 years, and I had made eons of apple pies. I thought my brother and sister-in-law would fall off their chairs laughing. As for me, I just stared in disbelief. All those years, that dear man had eaten my homemade apple pies and never mentioned that it wasn't one of his favorites. Lord knows I would have made any pie he even hinted at liking. That incident became the joke of the century for our family. Every time I see an apple pie, I smile at that dear man's efforts to not hurt my feelings. Believe me; I wouldn't have waited nearly 4 decades to tell him what I didn't like!!!! How about you?
Is there a particular memory that results in a downright belly laugh when you think of it? Would you be willing to encourage laughter among the DS family with your recollection? I need some good-hearted laughter in my life right now. Oh and, by the way, I haven't made another apple pie after that fateful, shall I say, confession. Blessings to you all. TJ
For me, that memory was when my husband's brother and sister-in-law were visiting from out of state. In preparation for their visit, I had made an apple pie. After dinner that evening, we all settled down to chit chat and have dessert. Beaming with a false sense of culinary pride, I brought out the pie and began serving it. I asked my husband if he wanted his topped with ice cream, and his reply was that he didn't care for any pie at that time. Like a dunce, I didn't let that pass and asked why. Well, to my surprise, he said, 'I've never really cared for apple pie.'
Now the kicker is that we had been married for 35 years, and I had made eons of apple pies. I thought my brother and sister-in-law would fall off their chairs laughing. As for me, I just stared in disbelief. All those years, that dear man had eaten my homemade apple pies and never mentioned that it wasn't one of his favorites. Lord knows I would have made any pie he even hinted at liking. That incident became the joke of the century for our family. Every time I see an apple pie, I smile at that dear man's efforts to not hurt my feelings. Believe me; I wouldn't have waited nearly 4 decades to tell him what I didn't like!!!! How about you?
Is there a particular memory that results in a downright belly laugh when you think of it? Would you be willing to encourage laughter among the DS family with your recollection? I need some good-hearted laughter in my life right now. Oh and, by the way, I haven't made another apple pie after that fateful, shall I say, confession. Blessings to you all. TJ
I saw a sign that read, eat desert first , life's too short. That was my love's motto.
ANOTHER HAPPY POST, WHAT A GREAT WAY TO START THE DAY!!!
I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS STORY A FEW WEEKS BACK AND FOUND MYSELF LAUGHING SO HARD THAT I JUST COULD NOT STOP, IT FELT SO SO SO SO GOOD!!!
BOB'S MOM IS ONE OF THOSE PICTURE PERFECT OLDER WOMEN., ALWAYS THE PERFECTLY PRESSED MATCHING OUTFIT. SHE WOULD NEVER NOT HAVE HER PINK LIPSTICK ON. ALWAYS A SCARF WITH A BROACH OF SOME KIND. I DO NOT THINK I EVER SAW A HAIR OUT OF PLACE ON THAT WOMEN'S HEAD!
WELL, A FEW YEARS BACK I HAD A MOTHER'S DAY BBQ AT OUR HOUSE. IT WAS SUCH A GORGEOUS DAY THAT I LOST TRACK OF TIME BY GETTING WAY TOO INVOLVED IN CONVERSATIONS AND FUN WITH THE KIDS. BOB'S MOM IS NOT SHY WHEN IT COMES TO HER WHITE WINE!! WE USE TO TEASE HER THAT SHE NEEDED TO FIND A REFRIGERATOR WITH A WATER, ICE AND WINE TAP ON THE OUTSIDE OF IT!
ALL OF THE SUDDEN BOB CAME UP TO ME AND SAID "JUDI I REALLY THINK WE SHOULD GET LUNCH GOING AS MOM HAS POLISHED OFF A BOTTLE OF WINE!" I LOOKED AT MY WATCH AND COULD NOT BELIEVE HOW BEHIND I WAS, SO I GO THINGS GOING AND SERVED LUNCH.
WELL HIS MOM DID NOT EAT MUCH, AS SHE WAS TOO BUSY BEING A BIT "TIPSY" AND JUST GOING ON WITH THE CRAZIEST STORIES. THE NEXT THING I KNEW SHE GOT UP FROM THE TABLE AND WENT INTO THE BACK YARD.
I FIGURED SHE JUST NEEDED SOME AIR. SHE WAS GONE FOR A GOOD 15 MINUTES AND FINALLY BOB SENT QUINCY (OUR YOUNGEST WHO WAS 9 AT THAT TIME) OUTSIDE TO SEE WHERE HER GRANDMOTHER WAS.
QUINCY COMES BACK IN, AND SO QUIETLY WHISPERED TO BOB AND I THAT GRANDMA WAS ASLEEP BUT DID NOT LOOK VERY COMFORTABLE.
WE GOT UP AND WENT OUTSIDE TO FIND THIS ELEGANT 80 YEAR OLD WOMEN ASLEEP IN THE BUSHES.... WITH HER WINE GLASS STILL IN HAND!!! GOD IN HEAVEN, YOU JUST CANNOT MAKE LIFE UP, CAN YOU!
THANKS FOR THE LIGHTHEARTED START TO THE DAY
JUDI
I do enjoy that I can have some memories that make me smile or even laugh now. I want fond memories, not relentless heartbreak.
Guess you had to be there....
When we would have to get gas for our car, I was the one that would get out and pump it into our car. He would tell me "just put $25 into the car". I would get out, do what I needed to do and at the end of the fueling, I would always try my best to get the price at the .00 point, but would always .01 and he would always say "you just had to add your flair to this, didn't you?" I even say that to this day, when i get gas and go over, I look up at the sky and say "yes, I did have to add my flair just for you". :)
This past week-end, the time we were supposed to be married, I went out of town to visit my niece. She has two small children and an over-crowded house. Guess what I packed in the trunk of my car and slept on the whole time I was there (comfortably). The proverbial air mattress. The gift that keeps on giving.
Dave
Many times I walked the dogs at night and only realized when we got back home that I had never taken my keys. I'd have to ring the doorbell and wait...and wait...and wait....for him to come up from the Mancave.
Finally I'd see him peering at us through the window. I'd burst out laughing begging him to let us in. He'd always ask, "Where's your keys?" I'd always say, "In the chair!"
He'd slowly, slowly, slowly unlock the door. The look on his face....I'd almost pee myself.
And he'd say in his sternest voice, "This is the VERY last time!!!"
And then, one day, it really was. Laughing and crying as I think of it now.