Very true. My husband used to say we get a lot more mileage out of the bad times than we do the easy times. As awful as it is we do learn and grow through our grief.

I was just talking with my priest yesterday and he told me about something he had read that talked about the reason God allows us to go through these horrible times is so that we can become more loving and compassionate toward others. And, you know, it does help. I know that after my husband had cancer the first time, we were not afraid to talk with people about their cancer, or other illnesses. We knew how isolating those circumstances are because everyone is afraid to talk with you. I will not look at widows/ers ever that same after experiencing this. It is a heart-opening experience if we allow it to be.

Because of this I am trying to be more like my Honey was. It's not easy! He was gentle and slow to anger & everyone was good people. I'm like the exact opposite. But I'm working on at least being nicer. That may be as far as it gets but it will be an improvement.

I believe it's very true. It's just so hard for such a long time that we can't see or understand the why's. We lost such an important part of our lives it seems so unfair. That's when I need my faith. Theres a saying, When you pray, and God says no. That's when faith takes over. I'm paraphrasing the statement. Sharon

I beleive there is alot of wisdom in those words. Grief forces you to grow whether you want to or not. Gerald

I have always believed that pain has been my greatest teacher. It seems when life is "good" we humans become emotionally and spiritually complacent. Only when we descend to the depths of "hell" and need some kind of relief, do we cry out for help. Whether one believes in God or not, it is during these times of anguish that we seek answers. And if we keep our hearts and spirits open the answers, and relief, does come.

Irs55 - your priest was right on. To be more loving and compassionate. Isn't that what each of us would want to be? We all paid a heavy price to learn this lesson. Tongue in cheek, I say I hope I've learned everything I can and darn well BETTER emerge as a wiser, stronger, more loving human. Because I never want this teacher to visit again!

I agree that grief makes us more compassionate. I find I am slower to anger than I have been in the past. But I also agree with "athankfulone" that we've all paid a very heavy price.