It is part of the grieving process The shock of losing our whole world as we knew it make us afraid. Everything is scary right now. Took awhile for me to feel like talking to people other than those in my inner circle. I have just passed 18 months and am now just starting to get back into the daily grind like I used to. It will get easier as time goes on.

When you are a couple you feel like a team, the other person is watching out for you. And you like to think what you don't know your better half does ;-)
The wanting to hide is part of the grief process - I have those moments as well. In time, when we regain our equilibrium and our strength the self confidence will come back.
This is not an easy transition.

I agree, it takes time to regain your personal confidence. At the beginning I kept thinking "What should I do? How would he do it?" We all were part of a team and it will take some time to adjusting to being an individual, again. Don't beat yourself up, just take those baby steps and it will eventually get a little easier. Hugs

I too am at 18 months and have felt this lack of confidence. I think I am beginning to understand why. My husband and I would discuss decisions. They were ours and applied to us so we were on the "same page" when it came to having our best interest at heart. We might not always agree but we would find a good compromise and when we did reach a decision, we were in it together.
Now I talk to my family about these decisions. Their opinions are not always with my best interest but as they see it. They don't live my life daily and don't understand fully. Their input though shakes my confidence and makes me second guess myself. I miss my husband.....life is so complicated without him.

I think that in the beginning you have so many conflicting thoughts that change from minute to minute, it's hard to think in one direction so you would rather back up and be by yourself. . As far as the confidence issue - I wasn't as afraid to make a ''mistake'' when I knew that I had a loving Husband to come home to ,who was on my side no matter what. It's a lost feeling. Give yourself time - easier said then done I know. I also believe in the theory that the worst thing that could ever happen to me did - (my Husband's death) - so anything after that is up hill, and I have nothing much more to lose. Hope it helps - I hurt for you. Vicki

Hi, I'm Joanie......I know only too well what you are saying about feeling that you lack confidence in yourself at times. I have thought long and hard about this myself and have finally come to realize that it is not the fear that I can't cope, it is more a matter of knowing that I don't have Dickie here physically by my side. He has always been my tried and true long-time "safety net". I rarely needed it, but I always knew that he was there just in case. It has been 5 years for me and time and again I have found that he has prepared me to handle whatever comes my way. I'm confident that little by little you will find that this is true for you also. Use your good common sense, listen to your heart......and most of all tap into the wealth of experiences that you both have lived through in your years together. I know that Dickie may not be with me physically, but I'm finding that the experiences we have lived through together are giving me the insight I need to go in the right direction with my life as it is now. Be mindful of the fact that it is important to weigh the advice of others around you.....but in the end be confident and make your own decisions. It's working for me.

My husband gave me so much including my confidence . We were such a great team, I have made some blunders and errors in judgement without him. He encouraged me as I was shy to be social to go forward. I don't want to loose who I am; what I have become. It helps to be with people to socialize when you can, but there are times when you just want to not be seen ; and conversely there are times when I feel invisible without his presence. Be patient, and kind to yourself.

Confidence is something we all have. It never goes away, but gets put somewhere in the back of our minds for a while. Each of us are different and our circomstances are different. The amount of time it takes to re-discover our confidence can't be determined. It just happens.

Maggie