Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I lost my Wife Jilanne on Feb 2 2016, it was sudden and I'm lost and numb and every time I think of her and look at pictures of her I get this knot in the pit of my stomach, she was only 56 years old and full of life. My Son is getting married at the end of April and I'm trying to be Happy for the two of them but I'm miserable right now.
She was my best friend and my Love and I hope things will get a little better with time. I find myself crying all the time. My friends and family try to keep me busy but after their all gone it's back to being alone.
I know everyone on this site is in the same place as myself and I thank everyone for their support.
God Bless you all.
She was my best friend and my Love and I hope things will get a little better with time. I find myself crying all the time. My friends and family try to keep me busy but after their all gone it's back to being alone.
I know everyone on this site is in the same place as myself and I thank everyone for their support.
God Bless you all.
My experience was this- I was numb at first- and felt guilty for the numbness. That lasted a week or two. It was followed by a very profound grief that made it a struggle just to get done the normal, every day things that needed to be done. At about three months, for me anyway, there seems to be a "lifting" in the weight of the grief.
Each journey is very unique and personal- with some people telling me early on that they got really grief-stricken in the third month. So, while I wish I could promise you that you'll be better able to cope, as I feel I am, in just a few months, truth is, you won't know until you get here yourself.
Be patient and kind to yourself.
May you find peace.
I can honestly say that I do not remember very much about the first 2 months. It was such a severe shock to my entire being, I think there is something about shock which protects us *but it does not seem like it when we are experiencing that* because we still hurt so much.
I only sense that now, in looking back- I just hit the one year mark, and have so little very detailed memory of the first couple months. it is all a blur. sort of like after a severe impact, we are knocked so full of pain that there might be partial numbness and disbelief. By no means completely numb.
but we were married for 41 years and we had definitely "become one" with each other.
It takes time to come to grips with anything that deep.
At times, I still have not.
I know it is hard to believe, but you are still in the (most blessed) timeframe, only because you have the most support from family and friends than you will ever have in the future about your grief.
Cherish them.
I kind of wish I had taken better notes about that time. because most people have scattered.
thinned out.
run for the hills.
It's like a Really Bad, Sad Western.
People just can not stay with what we are Forced to endure, if they have an option of moving forward.
We hurt intensely, fast. and for a long time.
Take only one step at a time. one part of each day. do not extend yourself beyond coping with each thing that hits you.
for social things, like the wedding day, make plans of how to escape for breaks when you feel overwhelmed.
It is wise.
God bless you.
feel free to message anytime.
Barbara.
Peace, Tim