I can only share what I did under similar circumstances. Hope it helps. My husband died from lung cancer that metastases to the bone and brain. This caused him to have hallucinations at night. After the services for him I was often startled awake by noise sounding like him. I was so worn out by lack of sleep I was tearing and angry. I began talking to him about please just hold me while I sleep. I just need to rest and if he could just hold me I would feel better. It worked for me and there were times I believe I felt him behind me comforting me and I would smile. Sharon

Oh yeah - I also felt David's arms around me as I slept. And many times he patted my legs while I was in bed. It almost felt like a cat was walking across the bed, but we had no pets.

It was strange at first and rather scary. I'd turn on the lights only to find nothing. One morning, I swung my legs over to his side of the bed and found a hot spot - right where his bottom would have been sitting, while he sipped tea and breathed deeply to get his oxygen level up.

Kitchen lights flickered all summer. At first I was annoyed. It was just too much to go down the basement and figure out where the fluorescent light bulbs were, stand on a chair or step stool, remove the light fixture cover in the kitchen and install new bulbs. So, I left it - all summer.

Then one day in early fall, the lights stopped flickering. And never did again.
And yes - I'm 3 1/2 years into this journey and still talk out loud to my dear sweetie.

For me it's just over a week since my husband died. He had trouble in November, and went into the hospital the first week of December. The next day we knew he had cancer in his liver, but not the origin. It was end stage cancer, and very aggressive. He passed away December 22nd. I was so broken hearted, but relieved as it was so painful for him. People say call them anytime day or night, but it is hard to. I broke down two nights ago and talked to my daughter-in-law about 3:30 in the am. She was so good to me. The next day I found out that the lights on their fruit trees (to keep them warm) started flickering just before my call. They had to get up to fix them and were awake for the call. My son still thinks it was his Dad, and I am now sure that it was. I talk to him everyday, explaining what I'm doing. Can't stop crying though. It's like falling off the deep end and not being able to see the surface. Part of me doesn't want to because then I think I'll have accepted that he died. I don't want to forget him, and we had so little time to prepare. You are so not alone. Maybe we can all hold hands and walk through this together.

PS: I do agree with you not feeding the horses in the middle of the night, but I've taken over all the chores. With the dogs I now sit on the front porch at night and early morning - just like Bob did. I'm so patient, and can't get over it. I have a big cushy leopard patterned robe I wear. But, Bob used to sit with them at night and early morning in his robe. I've even begun drinking coffee out with them in the am. I think Bob approves, but thinks the leopard robe is silly. And, I thank God for this little blessing as it helps me keep him alive in my heart.

I am so glad to talk to people that understand, this has helped me so much. I also talk to him and feel he talks to me. I was watching tonight a show on tv with Pat Boone who had the boy on that went to heaven talking about the miscarriage his mother had and he saw his sister in heaven. It immediately came to my memory a miscarriage we thought I had but weren't sure, I felt like he was telling me there were children of ours in heaven. My gosh, how great would that be. I am thankful for this site, if I am having a difficult time at night I go back and read old posts, so helpful. Thanks to everyone.

Firstly, I want to say that I am a believer in an afterlife and do believe that I have had signs of my husband's presence. But even with that belief, I think you need to be cautious. Please tell your children about what has been going on. It might be a good idea to have a motion sensor light installed on the outside of your home, and also to change the locks if there is anyone who might have a way of getting in that should not. I don't mean to sound like an alarmist, but you are a lady living alone, you are a senior, and there are some creepy people in the world, and sometimes even mischievous kids will do things like knock on doors at night and then run off. We had that problem here for a time.

Safety and security is something that becomes more of an issue once you are on your own. I had several friends try to convince me to get a gun, but that is not something I was comfortable with. Finally, one friend got me pepper spray which I kept on my nightstand just in case.

Some friends came round to do some of my yard work, too, as Cliff had always handled that, and they told me I needed to cut back and clear the bushes and shrubbery away from my windows as I was providing a way for someone to break in without being seen. So they cut back all the stuff around my windows. I had never even thought of that.

I cannot get pepper spray here in England, but a good substitute is wasp killer spray. It also has the advantage of being effective from a distance. The idea is to be able to stop an intruder long enough to get out of the house to safety.

I don't doubt that you may have had signs from your hubby. But I think you should err on the side of caution. There is a saying that the Arabs have which I have always thought was good: "Trust in God, but tie up your camel." In other words, have faith in the Lord, but do your part to keep yourself and your property safe. It's the sort of thing my husband would have wanted me to do, he was a very religious man but also streetwise.

I hope this helps.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Thanks, good advice, I have an alarm system that is on every night, keep lights by the doors so I will see if someone is there. We live in a wooded area so I am extra cautious

Leave him a note...to feed the horses at 4 am.
Seriously I am a believer and often feel John's presence over my shoulder as I write.

lol that is good, will try that.