Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
The past few days have been rough! The tears just keep dropping, the heart is heavy, the mind won't focus, and loneliness is consuming.
This should be a time of doing and feeling something other than this sadness. It will be 5 months next week and yet I have met obstacles head on, made choices, and I am finally making some beginnings. Yet I lost it 6 days ago and have not been able to re-balance myself.
I am sad every time I see an older couple,I am upset that certain people have survived on this earth and my Pete is gone. Nothing seems fair.Then I feel guilty for such feelings!
I have journeyed from Georgia to West Virginia...under the pretense that I needed to sort through belongings we had stored here. However, 6 days ago I realized that I was searching for him and our life back. I have sorted and resorted and it has not had anything hidden inside the stuff or memories. I realized I already had those memories in my heart. But what I didn't have was Pete and I never would have him here the same again. So I am going back to Georgia to find myself and this new life in front of me. My support is my children Long distance, so location just needs to be comfortable. Because my husband, Pete was changing jobs at the time of his death, I have no finances to fund this "lost" I have found myself in. SO I made decisions. But I can't get passed the sadness to excited or happy or good.
Today is my Birthday and that brings a sadness to it also. And it has always marked the beginning of the holiday season for us over 14 years. More emotions surfacing!!!!! I am trying to feel his presence but it escapes me over the past month. More emotion~ this is beginning to shake my faith and spiritualism. How could he take his presence away at a time like this? Why does it seem that the whole world is moving forward and I am left standing still?
Yet I went on FB to see the notifications of people sending me Birthday wishes, FB gave me "memories" to look at and there I found 2 messages....
"I Miss You" and "Happy Birthday to the best wife ever, Hope your day is wonderful and as special as you". Did he send his wishes to me?
This is so hard sometimes, just when you thimk you are making head way; and then you find yourself back at the beginning! UGH!!!!
This should be a time of doing and feeling something other than this sadness. It will be 5 months next week and yet I have met obstacles head on, made choices, and I am finally making some beginnings. Yet I lost it 6 days ago and have not been able to re-balance myself.
I am sad every time I see an older couple,I am upset that certain people have survived on this earth and my Pete is gone. Nothing seems fair.Then I feel guilty for such feelings!
I have journeyed from Georgia to West Virginia...under the pretense that I needed to sort through belongings we had stored here. However, 6 days ago I realized that I was searching for him and our life back. I have sorted and resorted and it has not had anything hidden inside the stuff or memories. I realized I already had those memories in my heart. But what I didn't have was Pete and I never would have him here the same again. So I am going back to Georgia to find myself and this new life in front of me. My support is my children Long distance, so location just needs to be comfortable. Because my husband, Pete was changing jobs at the time of his death, I have no finances to fund this "lost" I have found myself in. SO I made decisions. But I can't get passed the sadness to excited or happy or good.
Today is my Birthday and that brings a sadness to it also. And it has always marked the beginning of the holiday season for us over 14 years. More emotions surfacing!!!!! I am trying to feel his presence but it escapes me over the past month. More emotion~ this is beginning to shake my faith and spiritualism. How could he take his presence away at a time like this? Why does it seem that the whole world is moving forward and I am left standing still?
Yet I went on FB to see the notifications of people sending me Birthday wishes, FB gave me "memories" to look at and there I found 2 messages....
"I Miss You" and "Happy Birthday to the best wife ever, Hope your day is wonderful and as special as you". Did he send his wishes to me?
This is so hard sometimes, just when you thimk you are making head way; and then you find yourself back at the beginning! UGH!!!!
I believe the FB message from him was def a sign that he's with you! No coincidence that it showed up today. Relish in the thought that his love for you is eternal. And even though it hurts, I'd still like to send birthday wishes your way for a day that was blessed with you!
Warm hugs
Darcie
p.s. Try to have the best birthday you can, even if you only treat yourself with something small, you deserve to be kind to yourself.
What you're feeling is very normal. No matter how hard we try to fight the sadness, it's still there. Sometimes it helps to just stop fighting and let it be. Just get through minute be minute, day by day. I hope you find some comfort when you get back to Georgia.
Warm hugs,
Linda
Another Birthday year, this one's different, he's not here with you. I totally get your feelings and I hope that you can get through today and tomorrow knowing YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
With Love,
Roz
I stumbled on a card he gave me years ago...it was simple and made a big difference today--
It said "you'll a;ways be surrounded...By my Love."
Then he wrote in it --"I love you more with each passing day. My Love for you will never die"
Simple, stupid, and corny but it worked lol. I am grateful I happened across it.
Again thanks so much for all your support, best birthday present ever!