I've had a couple of crummy weeks in a row..I've been pretty teary eyed lately and very much depressed / missing my wife intensely. I've had good support for all of you here & from my friends and work, but as you all know, it is an understatement to say that dealing with this type of loss is the hardest thing ever. I *did* actually go to the movies a few weeks ago to distract myself, and just remembered a smile i had thinking about my wife, and wanted to share.

It was a Saturday. Usually on Saturdays, we were up and about by 8 - 9:30, as my wife got ready for dialysis, and i took here there; I'd pick her up 4 hours later and we would usually go out to dinner, and often a movie, and we did this for the year and a half that she went to dialysis...

So...while I'm siting home alone, I decided to watch a movie..I had just finished a couple of weeks earlier, setting up a server in my house that had all of our movies on it so my wife and i could watch them like Netflix. Sadly, she never got to experience this, although over the years i had taken her to the movies to see almost all of them (and there were over 300; we used to go out, alot) ; I looked through all of the movies, and decided i wanted to try and watch a comedy.. I saw one i remembered her laughing at and began watching the movie "Horrible Bosses." The sequel had just come out that weekend as well, so i decided, i would go see that since i knew she would have thought it was funny.

It was your typical comedy movie, and i found it to be pretty funny..As it went over and i began to leave, the credits began, and as so many movies do these days, they began playing extra footage during the credits (bloopers this time). One scene played, that had the song featured in this commercial playing loudly ; i sat back down..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkTkSyRfDo0

You see, Melodie had always thought this commercial was hilarious, especially the sock monkey dancing around..so much so, she had bought herself a pair of pajamas like these:

http://s.ecrater.com/stores/6442/4eb59b26d4433_6442n.jpg

She wore them all the time when it was cold out and she thought they were super super funny.

She used to laugh and laugh at this commercial..When it came on, i would laugh and smile with her, because i knew what was about to happen, and she would dance around, make kissy faces at me and wiggle her butt to the music if she also had on the pajamas..

When this song came on during the movie, I turned to the right seat next to me to look at her (force of habit i guess..she always sat on my right side in the theater)..I just knew, if she had been there, she would have been laughing, making kissy faces at me, and wiggling her butt, dancing around in the seat.. I smiled, thinking about her, and went home. She was so funny and silly, the exact opposite (I think) of me..she was my counter-balance in life.. I miss her so much, but that was a good moment / memory where i was able to imagine her there with me and what she would have been doing without tears..

course..now the tears are coming, but that's ok at the moment