My deepest condolences for your recent loss. This grief journey is like none other and we all experience it in differing ways; yet are bonded by similarities. Unfortunately, there are no magic elixirs or words of wisdom that suffice to cover the entire process of grief. For now, keep it in baby steps . . moment to moment, day by day. It seems redundant and you will hear this a lot . . because it works. Keep it simple, take care of YOU, be gentle with self, make sure you remember to eat, hydrate, sleep as you can, cry when you want, come here and vent, share . . . We are here walking with you. Sending you lots of healing energy and strength your way. Hugs, Dayna

I am so sorry. There are no magic words. Just our love and support to get you through this.. D.rink plenty of fluids, eat what and when you can. Rest when you can. This journey takes a toll on you physically, emotionally and mentally. Its a long hard road. God bless you through this long and winding road. Sandee

I am so sorry for your loss. There are no magic words or pills to take this pain away. I am 7 months in and this week has been much better for me. I see a grief therapist twice a week and he has helped me so much.
I went back to church and I have to lean on my faith to get thru this. It is like an ocean with waves of pain that come and go.
For today, I am ok. You will get there.

Hugs
Jen

I am sorry for your pain and loss. The first several weeks I was like a zombie in a fog. I was just operating on instinct and habit not really thinking or feeling like things were real. I am going on 7 months and I have to tell you things for me at least have eased up a bit so I can finally breathe. I was so lost and confused I read everything about grief I could get my hands on to try and understand this horrific and seemingly insurmountable pain. Only those that have walked in our shoes know this awful journey. This group has been so insightful in helping me understand what the hell I am feeling and what is possible. I hope you find some comfort and wisdom from those who have intimate knowledge of what we are all going through. No magic words but we are here for you. ~Pete

I remember so clearly the first weeks after my husbands death. I curl up on the loveseat in my pjs, in front of the tv, box of tissues next to me, trash can at my feet for used tissues. wrapped in a blanket. Eyes swollen together. To the best of my knowledge I must have sat there for at ;east two weeks. No showers, Just snacking on junk foods, not going anywhere, not taking meds, drifting in and out of sleep, 10 minutes at a time. I was so weak I could hardly walk. No one called or came to check on me.
I started to smell me... yes, me!!!...I gave myself a body facial. Soaked in the tub for hours. Washed my hair squeaky clean. Give myself a long study in the mirror, oh how I aged in that few weeks. Weighed myself... 20 pounds gone!!...My cheeks were hollow. the fat in my body was gone, wrinkles everywhere.
I cleaned myself up, the room up. threw out furniture. Went and got my hair cut, and colored. Went and bought new makeup, and a couple new outfits. Bought myself some decent food. I had decided that no one loved me. Yes, I found out self love was there. I loved me. Well 30 months latter I am important. I matter.

Life is just incredibly painful and while it's true that we are so grateful that our loved one is not in pain anymore, here we are still in so much pain ourselves!

The best advice I can give you at this time is if you have any family or friends who can help you with cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, and the chores of living, try to accept their help. If you can try to rest, breathe, and nurture yourself, that is about the best you can hope for at this time.

Just expressing your feelings here and to those in your life you trust is also a way through it. Doesn't make the awfulness end, just makes it less lonely.

Be kind to yourself and give yourself credit for everything you've done and will do throughout this ordeal.

So very sorry for your loss. I admire you that you could pray for him to go so he would not suffer. Through your sadness you thought of him. Now let that peace you wished for your husband be your guide tward your own peace.

Maggie

TMarie, the magic is "time!" A wonderful friend said just this word to me after I lost my love and I thought it was so weird that all she said to me was one word.

Now, it's been 28 months for me and I will pass the word along to you, "time!"

I still cry, but I cry much less and it's not uncontrollable.
I still feel lonely, but I believe in ME more now and I believe I will survive.
I still am scared, but time has shown me that I'm not going to vaporize and disappear on my own.
I'm still angry, but I know that fate brought him to me in the beginning and then stepped in again to take him away. I didn't have anything to do with it.
I still feel guilty that I didn't do enough but again, I know I'm not that powerful to stop it.

Time has taught me to give myself lots of room for all my feelings and not to be too judgmental of self.

I wish you peace and grace along your journey of grief.......give yourself that magic word....."time!"

Roz

I want to thank you all for your kind words. It is nice to know there are others out there who have and are going through this. I sat and read all the replies and cried as I read the encouraging words. I thank you for taking the time to respond.

As we have all said many times, welcome to the site that no one what's to belong to but are so grateful to be a part of. We all support each other as we know what this horrible journey is all about

As Dayna said, it is redundant but very wise words. One minute at a time, baby steps and then one day at time. Let the pain come out, yell scream and cry. It has gotten easier with time for me. We are all here for you and get what you are going thru!!!!! Hugs. Sue

Oh my! Such a recent loss! I'm so sorry that you had to go thru this too. I also prayed for God to take my husband and give him relief from his pain. It was a hard prayer, I know! I can never blame God for taking him like he did, I begged Him to take him! He was so torn, he wanted so badly to go and be with Jesus! But he did not want to leave me all alone! We built our lives together on the Lord. We were each other's whole world!! I miss him every second that he is gone! What has helped me the most, has been clinging to the Lord. I have found peace and even joy in the midst of great sorrow.
Loves....Karla

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had a magic pill for you, but there doesn't seem to be one. We will walk this path with you, lean on us. It is like a roller coaster at times, but take it one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. Be kind and gentle with yourself now. Feel what you need to feel. And as someone else here said, "keep it simple". This grief business is like no other that I've ever experienced. It just takes what it takes as we adjust mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually to this new place in our lives. Our life is different now in many ways....we adjust a little each day....sometimes kicking and screaming, but we do adjust over time. Come here as often as you need to. We've all been where you are now. Wishing you blessings and peace always. Sharon k