I had a roller coaster day too. I thought I had been having an ok week then BAM!!! It all seemed to land on the same day. Sorry you are going through this too. We just have to live each day by day and sometimes it is moment by moment. Hugs to you. This widow hood label is never anything any of us ever wanted.

Like a state of suspension. Moving forward from parts of a past we dont want to let go of. A new life we didn't ask for. But what seems a life of nothingness and hopelessness transforms us into readiness for the life we can't yet see and a purpose with no clue. This is like driving at night with our headlights turned off. But we must suit up and show up -- like playing a role in a picture show (Supertramp, Take the Long Way Home). I feel like I'm coming down from the ceiling and finally able to start relaxing for the first time in years. Why? Because I've stopped looking for a phantom life I thought was awaiting me, and just live in the life I have. Maybe that is what the grieving experts would call acceptance. I just call it having peace with what happened and where I find myself today. Like the title of your post, Just Comments.. And now I'm headed to bed for a well deserved big crash. I hope to sleep 12 hours. My war.is over. I didn't win but I did survive. Still breathing. Still kickin'. Still able to love, if not anyone else, Ive come to love myself. For some of us, we lost not only the one we loved, but the only person who loved us. So we have to fill that void by learning to love ourselves. And that requires learning who we are, and changing what we don't like about ourselves. I am a better person because of my wife's death, and I view it as her gift to me. With no one else to love us, we have love ourselves. Because everyone needs love. ~~~ Scottie

I really needed to read these posts today. Having a very rough few days. It's over 3 months now but feeling like I am in week one. Thank you everyone for sharing... and Scottito, you described your journey with such lovely words and it gives me hope.

I wish you all the very best. I also have been having a very rough couple of days, and really felt the need to come and visit and post.

It's going on four months now and it hasn't gotten any easier for me, i miss her so very much, and I flipping can't stand people who tell me to be grateful for having 26 years with her, they are driving me crazy. It went by so very fast and they just don't understand how we feel.

i cry just a little almost every day, and i think i always well. But that's ok, i don't mind crying for her.

Did you lose your husband's side of the family when he died? Why? I know what that's like because I never really had mine. My husband was the only one I had in his family. It's even more evident now. So I suffered except for some initial discussion, without them and they without me. It's sad that it didn't have to be that way.
Our suffering is part of THIS life. It will not exist in the next: crying, sorrow and pain will be gone if you are saved. Acts2:38/Acts 22:16
I know household tasks are the worst to look to. Alone in them feels like futility. Every object I see seems meaningless actually. I hope you will cope better. You KNOW YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I lost my husband 4 years ago. I still miss him and I always will. Now I remember the great times more and can laugh however: I still cry whenever I need to. The longer you hold it in the harder it hurts. This life is hard. and so many have had extreme pain. There is very few who haven't had sadness and loss. I always remember that I'll see him again and my Dad who died 4 months ago. My aunt, who lost her son, granddaughter, and husband said you just have to go on for those who are left. Join groups. I pushed myself until I thought I couldn't push anymore. I did it anyway and it helped to be around others. I was shocked at the amount of pain others shared and the compassion. Give your self time to heal. And remember the steps of grief have their own timelines. My love and prayers go out to you!

I feel as you,definitely lost the people the happiness and the feelings. Everything has changed. With me it was about having to get a job at the age of 60. My adult children think I have mental issues..and I used to care when my husband was alive and sick. Guess they can not understand how taking care of a terminally ill husband ( their Father) can make you feel. Wish i wouldn't have sheltered them while growing up now. It is what it is. I feel as a different person and have lost everything i have ever known,but have decided i am going to love myself now and it is their losses as i am moving on. There are things about us that are beautiful and one day they will miss us but it is their loss not ours. Chin up and give your self compassion. Your husband loved you and why would he not ? Its what helps me through the times i think i can not go on any longer. ( Hugs))

Lost w/outC: It's going on 3 months for me since I had little Walt, my "Danish" taken away...We only were married 6+ years, not 26, and it hurts because we were just beginning to get used to eachother and had a good outlook for the future. At least I felt that way. We married only 6 months after meeting. People don't know and/or sometimes care how death spins the loved one's worlds out of orbit.