Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Just can't stop crying

NewRoadsForMe
NewRoadsForMe
I don't know why, but for 2 days I cannot stop crying. Maybe it is the lead up to Easter or seeing other families and couples so happy together. Down here in Florida, the Interstate is loaded with campers of all sizes. Over every hill come 3 or 4 more. I know there is more than one person in most of them and I so long for the days Joe and I had planned to travel. We never got to, as we worked until retirement, then cancer took over and the rest of our hopes and dreams were taken away. We didn't have even one trip after we retired, as cancer took over. I HATE CANCER! I HATE IT! If I could shoot it with a gun, I would. If I could drown it, I would. If I could hang it from a noose, I would. If it were in front of me on the ground, I would beat it to death with a hammer. I'm just expressing my feelings. I have never hated anything as much as cancer. I cannot even make myself to go to Relay For Life, although I wish them all the success possible. I cannot bear to see the survivors walk, as my Joe is not one of them. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone. It is just my emotional state, not my rational state. I am nothing right now but a ball of emotion. I'm sorry to be a downer, but I needed to vent. Thanks for being here.
leminmpls
leminmpls
Crying is so much a part of grief - and there are days when you can't stop crying - I can usually count on Sunday being that day for me. Your post hits home as Mike and I planned to move to FL where we already had a little house. So many plans that will never happen. You are right to vent, and if you can't do it here, then where?

Weekends are always hard so be good to yourself and maybe do something special just for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Every day, I thank G-d and everyone here that we have this place to come to, especially since some friends and family simply don't understand.
We belong to a special club that none of us wanted to join, but we have each other. Coming here is the best place to be. Vent all you want, we are here for you. Much love. Judith
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know we are here for you! You are expressing your feelings and that is good. I am so sorry that Cancer is the cause of your sadness. It is a horrible disease. I know what you mean about hating it and killing it. Seeing the campers and the people vacationing will be a thorn in your side from now on. I would take some time and do other things you want to do, and not dwell on the fact that you won't get to do the things with Joe in this life. He would not want you to be sad. He is aware of the separation, and I know that he feels bad, but he wants you to progress and go on. Take a trip with some one else if that will help. But my thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs~Shelley
laurabp
laurabp
I can relate to your feelings about cancer. I lost my mother to cancer and like you, I don't want anythng to do with some of the charity projects that relate to cancer - it's just too painful. My husband died of a stroke a couple of years before I could retire. I had always pictured the two of us together for at least a few years of retirement. I still wander around some days thinking "what happened?". Don't apologize for venting - we all need to now and then. We are all here for you. Hugs, laurabp
Nicker07
Nicker07
No one knows why crying comes on. Some say it cleanses the soul, throws out the bad stuff held inside - in our case our emotions are so undefined at times so crying just happens.

I fought breast cancer, I was high rate of reoccurence: I am here, but I have many friends & family that did not, its a horrible disease.

This is the only place I have known to vent - honestly and openly, BUT I know our loved ones lost want us to go on and find a good life without them. How is the ? no one can answer, I hope your days, weeks and months get better. Hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user
I too, live in Florida, and Phil just died of lung cancer last month, after being diagnosed in Feb. this year. He retired last year, we had so many plans to go out on the boat fishing every day...I get so sad, watching the boats in the river, and the ocean, that was supposed to be us! I feel your heartache, as I share it too. Sometimes the pain of missing our love is so overbearing. ((HUGS)))
Debi
deleted_user
deleted_user
OMG I just said this very same thing about cancer. I hate cancer too .It took my husband and then my Mom just this past Thursday April 21st.
God Bless you and comfort you...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know just how you feel. I lost my husband to cancer just 5 months ago today. I HATE THAT CANCER, TOO!!! It's as if you and I are on the same wave length in our feelings. Everything you said is so true. It not only kills the person, it kills all our hopes and dreams of being with that person in many years to come. Cancer kills a lot of things. It has got to be the worst way to die...and to watch someone die from it. May God give us strength.
deleted_user
deleted_user
There are many "cancers" and other terminal illnesses that we are allowed to hate because they take away those we love. This is the place where we all understand the emotional roller coaster and tears are always allowed. Vent and scream to and with us, we all know how you feel. Bless you and Big Hug!