Sharon: I think we have all been through the stage of wanting our old life back. We have all looked with trepidation towards an unknown future. I described it as the funk, stuck in once place, unable to move forward, wanting to go back. Here is the thing though, no matter how unfair, we will never get our old life back.
At about year two, I decided to make myself into a person that I could enjoy being with, rather than the bitter, angry woman I was becoming. I forced myself out of my comfort zones. By doing so, I made a life I wanted to live, a combination of the old life with new elements, entirely my own.

In the process, I met someone, fell in love, had a lot of second first, which I cherish just as much as I cherish all those memories with my husband. And love the second time around is different, but just as sweet. Concentrate on doing something that makes you happy, relearn an old skill, pick up a new one. The important thing is to realize it it your life, for better or worse, might as well try to make it for better. No an easy task at all, but doable one baby step at a time.
Hugs,
Val

I was long in the grief process too. I had to realize that I wasn't the young girl who married my husband and I wasn't the woman who lost him. Figuring out who I was took time for me. I began searching for what I liked and who I was. It was trial and error, but I couldn't enter another relationship until I had something to give. Everything about me seemed to have disappeared. I worked in a local emergency department, but my identity was wife and mother. Our children were adults living independently when their dad died and I found myself alone for the first time in my life. Post often and read others posts. You are not alone in your feelings and you will make it through living this nightmare. Sharon

Thank you Val and Sharon (my name is sharon too). You really helped me in those lonely dark hours of the night. Your posts' have lifted my spirits today, I've been a Mom and a wife for 21 years, I don't know how to be anything else. Calling it "funk, stuck in one place" is exactly what I've been doing, thank you!! I have been sitting on the fence taking a teaching opportunity for theater (which I was so passion about and loved, but stopped to raise my kids). I'm going to go for it, I'm going to do it. Thank you for your help, I will keep trying to figure out the ins and outs for this website, and I hope to hear from you again, xoxo sharon