LOL, Sandi.
I call BS too.
but I barely hit one year.
and maybe that depends on so many different factors at play in people's lives, and in themselves.
For me, the year has gotten harder because (although I never dreamed it could be possible) circumstances have changed, because my health has been thrown a big surprise. although, to be 100% honest, I do realize that in looking back, I was already battling this issue- but was unaware it was a physical illness and my early grief symptoms of confusion were being jet-fueled by an illness.
Yep, vroom vroom!
If I had realized, I would have behaved in a much more civilized manner and been highly compassionate. also saved myself and family some unneeded grief.
because NONE of us on earth need more than our fair share, do we?
anyway, thank you for the laugh. even if you did not intend me to laugh. I DID!
Honesty is the bomb.

Maybe for some it gets easier.. Not me.. I'm at the 18month mark and no it hasn't gotten easier. I hear people say "at the year mark....." but for me that's not the case. It gets harder and different I think. After the fog clears and you begin to realize this is really your life.... Well then the S**t hits the fan.

So much has changed in each of our lives and if we admitted it we would have to say we have somehow gotten to the point in our grief that we are today. Just different.

Hugs
Lisa

Easier? No way. I'm nearly 6 months out and it still hurts like the first day. Does it get easier to carry? Maybe. Maybe I'm just getting used to the weight.

The statement I always heard was, you never get over it, you just learn to live with it. Both true. God Bless.

No,it doesn't get easier...I had no sooner got through the first year after losing my husband when my son passed away..if anything, it gets harder...

yes.. that saying holds true.. I like to say, we dont get better, we just start to learn to accept our soulmates are not here anymore physically. Much love and hugs carla

I agree with you, Sandi -

I give a BIG " BS :" from Texas to anyone claiming that it
gets easier. At a little over 7 1/2 months, I still have as
much pain ( if not more ) that the first two weeks after the
death of my wife.

I know myself well enough to know that I am never going
to get over it. At best, I am just hoping to be able to cope
with the pain of losing her as the future arrives.

A few people have told me that a person should not allow
themselves to fall in love with another to the point the
two identities become almost one. Well, I didn't know there
were any rules about that. After 30+ years together, my
wife and I were almost like one person. We shared anything
and everything ( good and bad ) and gave each other total
unconditional love. We depended on each other for support
in every way possible. Maybe I am mistaken but I have
always thought that was what marriage was supposed to be
about. What is the point of falling deeply in love and gradually
building a complete life together if two people are just gong to
remain separate in every way possible ?

So, I am guilty, guilty, guilty of falling deeply in love with the
woman of my dreams. If the pain of losing her does not ease
with time, then I shall have no choice but to live with it and I
would not trade the 30+ years together for anything.

Darrell

And BS to it from Wisconsin as well! I agree with you, Darrell. We let ourselves fall completely with our spouse and become one--which I believe was meant to be in good marriage. And you just can't rip part of one off and live normally again. We can make the best of it. But, at 1 1/2 years it hasn't gotten easier for me either. I am just so very thankful for our 40 years, very very thankful.

Of course we become one with our loves... That is love. That's why this hurts so much. We're all missing half of ourselves

Better half, I might add.