Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Loriluvsbruce 01/19/2009

Doesnt it seem that every time we think we have made some progress we end up going backwards again. Bruce has been gone for almost 2 yrs( in May). I thought I was doing pretty well. I have accepted that he's gone. But for some reason this past week has been hell. I cant stop thinking and talking about him. I'm crying alot and keep replaying the morning he died over and over in my mind. I cant even watch a news clip with out crying and thinking how much I miss him and wish he was back. If I see a tragedy or something sad on the news I think of the pain those poor people are going through because I know all too well how they feel and it just puts me in a slump. I hate feeling this way and thought the 2nd year would be easier but it really isnt. I thought it was, but now I feel like I'm going backwards. I hope its just the winter blues. Does anyone else feel this way?

deleted_user 01/19/2009

Bless your heart. For some reason, things you never expect hit with all fours. Maybe some unresolved grief. I have done that some with Jimmy, but it has been only eight months since he died. I miss him so. I still talk to his picture and think of things he would be saying to me. Hope they are safe and warm and happy in Heaven, saying come on Lindy get on with your life. You will see me one day.

deleted_user 01/19/2009

I actually just finished my journal entry and it was exactly that topic 20 steps forward & 40 backwords.It has only been just 7 months since I lost Gary. Has been hard ,but was finally starting to feel like I at least had a semi grip on my emotion's .Well I was wrong Go figure. I wish I could say that it's winter blue's however in my heart I believe it probably a combination of the two.

deleted_user 01/19/2009

I do that too. I have some good productive days and I think things are getting better then there I go back into the grief head first. In some ways it is easier but there are those days when it feels like it did in the beginning. It will be 2 years for me in March.

deleted_user 01/20/2009

I do feel exactly as you describe. I lost Jen 15 months ago and I have an elephant in the room as I have to go thru the inquest sometime this year.So the pain of her loss due to in my view hospital negligence will rear its head again. I am hoping against hope that once the inquest is gone I can move forward slightly and decide what I am going to do with the rest of my life.All my reading tells me the 2 nd year is the worst and unfortunately all my memories of her are wound up with hospitals and I am trying to remember the fun times but its awfully hard.So I do what I feel she would have wanted walk the dog, ride my bike and try to be positive. But as you so rightly say you go backwards. As the song says I been down so long it seems like up to me
vey best wishes to you

cliffskat 01/20/2009

It could be a bit of both - grief and winter blues. I always found January and February the most depressing months of the year - even when everything else was going great. Try to get some sunshine everyday - even for just 10 minutes - it will help with the winter blues part. As far as the grieving, from what I've read, most people take 2 to 4 years to heal back to some kind of balance - yes, some more and some less than that, but I think what you're going through is normal. It might also be a good idea to get a check-up with your doctor and let him/her know how you're feeling just to make sure it's nothing else. It could be hormonal, too. There's a lot of us in that wonderful 45-55 age group grappling with all of these issues with the extra added bonus of hormone shifts which just complicate everything. I hope you feel better soon. Hugs...

deleted_user 01/21/2009

I agree that it's probably a combination of the two ~ grief and the winter blues. You also could have a touch of SAD ~ "Seasonal Affective Disorder." That seems to hit people in the winter (in the States that HAVE winter) and it can really put a damper on things.

I also agree that a trip to the doctor wouldn't be a bad idea. A few questions for your doc wouldn't hurt, just to be sure. Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee

deleted_user 01/21/2009

Mine will be 2 yrs in April and I feel exactly the same way you do..backwards..fog into reality...but with faith and friends on DS we will get through this....I'm here for you
hugs

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