Hi maryelnew.
I've found, that on the days when I really want to be alone, but have a social activity planned, that I really end up enjoying being with people. It sounds like a contradiction, I know. But it ties in with something my psychiatrist has been preaching - "opposite of emotion". If you feel like hiding in bed, get up and do something, even just a walk. If you want to hide, get out amongst people. It's amazing how giving yourself these little pushes can help so much.
So bravo to you for taking this step. You may find that having friends around is exactly what you need.

I can understand your indecision about inviting them and wishing you hadn't. I think it may be a good day to have some friends over after all. Take those deep breathes and let them help you so you can relax too. Sharon

ha ha- Ive done that too before.
I always end up being glad I invited people.
Try to make it nice for them- flowers, decorate...it will lift your spirits too.
After they are gone, hopefully youll feel the happy glow of a fun time, and not sadness at being along and missing your love.

I totally agree with the previous responses. You invited your friends for a reason . . and at the end of the day, you will be glad you did. However, I also understand the questioning of the "why did I do this", in anticipation of having said friends/guests! I've struggled with this for a long time. I'm lonely, yet don't want to have guests or go out . . or I feel lonely and decide to invite and plan an event, then regret prior to. Or I'm happy with my alone time . . don't invite, then a major holiday or weekend hits and I regret not inviting, because I feel like I'm missing something. Oy vey . . we just never know what will work out best for us, as we are simply still swimming this long grief journey, trying not to drown . . reaching out for life boats, life savers, a temporary island . . use your imagination. It's not black and white . . there are a lot of grays in between. You are doing the best you can on any given day. Good for you, give self a pat on the back for stretching out of your comfort zone!! I have a feeling you'll be okay with your guests this weekend. Keep us posted. Thinking of you. Hugs, D