Mary . . fortunately life does go on for others . . unfortunately, it seems like it ended for us when we lost a spouse. :( I know how difficult this trigger of a celebrated marriage can be when you feel so robbed of time with your hubby.

I don't know if I have any real advice. Trust your heart. We always talk about escape plans here. Maybe you can make an appearance and think about it in 5 minute increments, one at a time. If you hit a wall and need to run, have the escape plan readily available. Or you can simply opt out . . however, this may cause waves with the family and how to explain? Or you can suck it up and plan to go and stay, visit the powder room and dry the tears as need be? No easy answers here. Sorry. Wish I had more to contribute.

It's a tough journey . . . hang in there. Hugs, Dayna

Send a card and decline. Anniversary parties are not on the same level as other events - you are not required to go and suffer. It is not essential for anyone except the couple to be there, frankly, so do not feel obligated to go.

It is nice that they invited you, but I would bet that they will understand your not going.

Just my two cents.....and I do understand it....

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I can completely understand. Fewer and fewer things trigger unexpected episodes of crying for me,,, except seeing older married couples holding hands, shopping together or doing other ordinary things. It just reminds me of what will never be and breaks my heart all over again.

If you don't want to go just send a lovely card and a gift and stay home.

It's nice that they invited you, but i agree don't feel obligated- a nice card and a small gift would mark the occasion. I went to a friends birthday celebration and it was a huge mistake for me to be there. I only stayed a short while, and sobbed the rest of the night. I am the first of our friends to lose a spouse and while everyone was supportive i just felt out of place. Patti

Just my view, but they cannot possibly know the pain of what you are going through. Politely decline, send them a sweet card and protect yourself from the situation. Even if you go for a short time the fallout, backlash you may suffer from it is not worth it. I felt obligated to attend a funeral service shortly after my husband passed and I suffered for 2 weeks after that. I've learned to protect myself first. Do what you feel in your heart is right for you. Whatever you do is ok