I only had contact with my brother-in-law, and after the funeral, I was making all the effort to try to keep the connection. I haven't had any contact for a long time. And that was after 30 years of being "family." I never in a million years thought that would happen. It is very hurtful, and I understand. The thing is, it's not just me that was hurt by everybody that let us down - it was my sons, too. That just made it all the more awful. All of their uncles really let them down.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

People will show you if they really care or if they really don't care. Then you have the friendenemies.

Don't count on the outlaws to be there. Mine didn't like me to begin with, so now it's like I never existed. I think they blame me for his cancer. I don't need them.

Just lost my husband in January. This is a brand new journey for all of us and often a lonely one. I’m sticking to my belief that you cannot count on others for your happiness. If you have a bad morning or hour or day embrace it ;cry feel sad and get on. I’ve been having dinner out by myself for the first time in my life once a month, It’s hard . Do the hard things. Talk yourself out of it all the way on your journey to your new tomorrows..whew!

Heartbroken, I like your term "friendenemies." I think I know what those are. Those with perfect lives and perfect families who want to tell you what you are doing wrong? Or it could mean those who are two-faced.

I don't know. I've been doing some thinking about my "world" as it exists 3 years after she died. It is sad that after 30 years of marriage to the family "glue" that held all the family functions, I have zero contact with the 2 stepkids, their families, and all the rest of her family. I know I did my part to end it early on because I simply could not handle the drama. I don't know, I guess step-children must be different from your own offspring. No regrets though. All I did through the many years to help raise and support her kids brought her great happiness, and we were all about just bringing happiness to each other. So my world now? My inner circle consists of my girlfriend, her brother and my dog Blue. That's it. It's a good little world for me. I appreciate my alone time, and finally feel like I'm coming back to life. I sure miss the 3 grandkids though, but like they told the 4 year old, I'm not really their grandpa. Yup. That's when I had to back away. As I think on these things, I wonder if my separation had any thing to do with my being unable to handle reminders of her while in the throws of my grief. And perhaps that had something to do with their separation from me as well. Just a thought. Life is good .... Scottie

When my husband past almost all his friends and family did the same thing. I always just have to remind myself that all that matters is that he loved me and he always said I was his Rock and it’s true when In a long term relationship and you share a love so deep it’s you and that person against the world.
You should always remember Even if his family is being hurtful he loved you and you were his rock and it’s you and him against the world ❤️ I do hope things get better for you -Tiff❤️

My husband was the extrovert of the family. He was always keeping in contact and just dropping by to see his cousin. Well the first day that Jim passed the cousin was at my house to see if there was anything he could help with.... after that I heard nothing for almost a year and then his wife contacted me to go out to dinner because one of the nieces was visiting. I did go to dinner but as I still like to talk about Jim it was very hard on him. They were closer than I ever thought, I am thinking of having a BBQ at my home and inviting them as they are the only family I have left in the area. If they come they come I can say I reached out if not I can not let it bother me anymore. Some day I will move away from the area and I am going to have to start from the beginning. I know in time things will get easier so I just am still taking it one day at a time.

I lost my fiancé 4 years ago and wish I had left them where they were!!! We were on the outs before he passed and I only let them back bc I knew they would want to see his daughter and it has been nothing but drama!!!! As long as I wasn’t really speaking up for myself everything was fine, but soon as I did we haven’t been on speaking terms in over a year. Hindsight I wish I would have kept them on the outs and just moved on with life me and my daughter. I am sorry you’re going through this

I'm so sorry. This just adds to your grief. It's probably best to ignore them and do the best you can to heal your broken heart in the best ways you can. Try to find new sincere friendships. Look for a bereavement group. You will find people who understand and are welcoming. I wish you strength and peace. Love and Hugs, Dolores

I know what you mean. I rarely see or speak to my in-laws either. My infant son had to have emergency surgery the day of my husband's funeral. My mother-in-law stayed on and helped my mom care for my kids while I was at the hospital. She stayed in contact with me for a few months after that, but it dwindled. (We lived in different states.) I was hurt at first, but then I realized that I didn't call her either. We both got on with our own lives and the only time I saw her or my husband's siblings was at weddings and they were years apart. I think the truth is, the only thing that really connected us was that we both loved my husband. Some people you click with and some you don't. Try not to be hurt by that. It is like piling hurt upon hurt and right now, you are dealing with enough hurt already. You know, it has been many years since my husband's death and when I do see my in-laws it is a pleasant experience. Everything takes time and I am praying for you.