Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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In a blink of an eye

Cheryl17
Cheryl17

My life changed just that fast. I was just knocking on the bathroom door asking my husband if he was almost done. He said he would be right out. Just 30 seconds later I heard a thump from the bathroom.  One hour later they pronounced him dead. Sudden death.....on one hand you are grateful that they went quickly, hopefully in no pain, on the other hand....the loved ones left behind did not get to say goodbye and are just left in a daunting state of shock. 


This was just a few weeks ago. My husband was 33. No one around me truly understands my pain. I lost my husband, my best friend, my daughter lost her daddy, we had to leave our home, I had to leave my job, my friends. I lost everything in a blink of an eye. 


Tomorrow is our 10 year wedding anniversary. We had so many plans. I have so much life ahead of me and all I see is loneliness and misery. I  know that will slowly change, but for now I just feel shattered and lost. I found this site a couple days ago in hopes to feel comforted by others who have been in my shoes. I am still in the living minute by minute phase. I keep waiting for signs or dreams to come to me. Hoping they will give me peace, but  as open as I am to them, nothing.  I keep praying about it. Been thinking of going to a medium, but not sure when the right time would be. How do you handle the feeling of not sensing they are there?


Lots of love to you all



Marie44
Marie44
Your story sounds like mine. Eight months ago my husband went outside to shovel the snow. He came back in and said he was going to go upstairs to write some checks. I found him slumped over his desk 5 minutes later. They never could get a pulse back and he was pronounced dead at the hospital an hour later at age 66. As far as not feeling if he's around anymore, I see little signs but they could just be my imagination. White butterflies keep flying into me. I feel cold air on me suddenly where there should not be any. I have a waterbed and I woke up in the middle of the night and it felt like someone had made the bed dip down on the other side. Don't know if that's proof of anything but it gives me a little comfort.
willowbreeze
willowbreeze
Hi.....I can relate to what you wrote.....I lost my Jimmy 16 weeks ago to unexpected blood clot that put him in cardiac arrest...talked with him on the phone in the morning on his way back to me from out of state and got a call later that night he was gone...no warning...no goodbye...just a shattered life left behind.
Don't worry about not having a dream yet...your grief is too strong for you to be aware or open to it at this stage...I have not had a dream I can remember about Jimmy either yet but I know i'm wanting it too much and my grief is too strong. I have had some unexpected signs come through when I wasn't expecting it and that has brought some comfort but it happened when I wasn't looking for any.....Be patient with yourself and take care of you first and then the things that you need to bring you comfort will come in their own time. There is a lot of people here that understand and care about your pain because they have experienced their own....try reading some of the stories and reaching out to others when you need someone and you will start to find comfort in the common thread that connects us all. I hope you find some peace and comfort today and along your journey....So sorry for your loss...stay safe.....jackie
laurie1209
laurie1209
My husband was 34 when he passed. its not easy to give up on all the dreams/plans you had. sometimes i feel like i was robbed of time with him and most people just don't understand that scene of loss; the loss of the future you planned along with who you planned to do it with. Go slow is the only advise i have for you. im finally to the point. message my any ill tell you about my experience with a medium (very positive) But know he is with you - you cant see him but those you love always stick around.
Hugs, Laurie
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
You are handling your grief and it's the right way for you. I'm sorry for the loss of your husband and at a very young age. It's painful to lose them so suddenly and to watch them deteriorate before your eyes. The loss is immense. I remember forever the day he left us. We are here with you and for you. Sharon
regwin
regwin
My Deepest Sympathy to each of you. Grief takes time to get through. Everyone here has had their heart break. They are here to listen, share and care. May peace and strength come to you. Dolores
Msbklyn
Msbklyn
My husband of almost 30 years survived a sudden cardiac arrest but passed away 30 days later in the ICU. Whike sitting in the ambulance waiting to see if they could bring him back for the second time I remember thinking "ion the turn of a dime". My life is so different and we all know how very fragile it is. That feeling never leaves. The best we can do is honor them and our love with the way we now live our lives. God Bless
Cheryl17
Cheryl17
Thank you all for your kind words and support. We laid him to rest at sea today, feeling some with that
scottito
scottito
Cheryl, just take it one day at a time. We crawl, we claw, we just have to keep moving through this journey called grief. Only way to get out of it is to go through it. Time and lots of it is our friend. For me, writing has been a Godsend and helped me more than anything. Whatever helps --- walking on coals, laying on a bed of nails, watching politics (oh the humanity!). So are you smiling just a little bit now? Seriously, once I found my sense of humor and could laugh, I do think that helped me a great deal. It is as important of an emotional release as is our bawlin and squalin -- You'll be just fine. Always remember, baby steps. This is not a race. This is survival. ~~~ Scottie
Cheryl17
Cheryl17
Thanks for the smile Scottie.....I definitely keep holding onto those happy moments when I let them in :)
luckydaughter
luckydaughter
I am so very sorry for your loss..........what a terrible shock that must have been. I don't really sense that my husband is here, either, but I like to believe that he is watching over me and our sons.
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