Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Im So Lost without my Loving Partner, My BFF

LostWithoutCarol
LostWithoutCarol

Hello all, 


I just had to join today. I had the need to be with people who are like minded and really understand what we each are going through.


I suddenly lost my wife of 26 years on 12/26/2016. She was the most loving, caring person that will every be. 


I am so lost without her. I have a daughter who is 24 and when i am around her i stay strong for her, but i am crashing on the inside of myself.


I cant tell anyone enough what a wonderful wife she was, even after her passing I received a my birthday present that i found hidden in my house. two weeks later i received new clothes that she had on backorder for me. So even after her passing she was still taking care of me.


During each of those events I lost it each time.


I could not bring myself to open my present from her for over a month, because it was the last one i will ever receive from her, but I knew if i didnt she would be mad at me. It was drone, i had been wanting one for a while but i never want to spend the money on myself. so she went and got me one.


Everytime I just think about having to remove her name from bank account a deed or anything I break down.


Yesterday was one of my hardest day because while cleaning i happened up on our marriage licence. 


I just had to leave the house, I could not take it so gather my daugher and went to the movies.


Everytime someone tells me "I can only imagine" I have to stop them and say no, no you can't.


Only other Widows & Widowers will understand. 


And so I am new here I, I have come here looking for understanding and guideance from those who know my Grief.




scottito
scottito
Yeah, it's hard. I think I was about the same amount of time as you after my wife died of pancreatic cancer when I stumbled (or was lead) into this group. I remember thinking I was just going to die it hurt so bad. Know that she's cheering you on, and will watch over you all of your days. And she wants only happiness and joy for you. As does everyone of us here. Take care of yourself, my friend. In time, you will be okay. ~~~ Scottie
lauram
lauram
Hi-
We all know exactly what you are going through. We don't have to imagine. It's awful, horrible. As I said to a friend yesterday it is the worst pain you have ever felt and it doesn't go away.
I lose it a lot. When I finished doing all the laundry and I cried my eyes out knowing I wouldn't be doing his laundry anymore. Everything we do effects us and it is so painful. I'm still very new at this.
I do spend some time on here, just to know I am not alone. It does help. I try to plan something everyday to keep me occupied until I return to work. And I don't even know when that will be as my brain is in a fog.
Eddie no one can imagine what you are feeling, unless they have lost the love of their life. People try to say nice things, but they are clueless. One friend even said to me after Tim passed away from cancer....well you have had time to prepare for this. I had no response and was utterly stunned into silence. I think I rambled on long enough. Take a moment at a time and cry when you need to or when the grief bubbles up.
Lurch0
Lurch0
We do all know that pain for sure. My wife only passed 2 1/2 weeks ago from Uterine cancer which had moved into her lungs. I just today got rid of some of the flowers from the funeral.
CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!. But we go on. My kids and grandkids help keep me going
jdp
jdp
Grief it is, depth of sorrow unfathomable...
Lonely days & even longer nights...
We are stretched beyond belief...
Heartbroken, unanswered questions..

Give yourself time
We each grieve in our own time & our own unique way
Little steps...

We are survivors
We accomplish what is necessary
Ups, downs will level out
But it takes time...
Blessings
jdp
Gatormom
Gatormom
Sorry for the sudden loss of your beloved wife. My husband passed away recently too, but after a prolonged illness. I'm praying that soon fond memories of your wife will overshadow the rawness and pain you are experiencing.
Msbklyn
Msbklyn
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Yes, this is so overwhelmingly difficult. I'm at almost 18 months and still come here now mostly to reach out to those people who have recently suffered a loss of their love. I know how much it helped me in the beginning when I felt so alone and devastated. My husband of almost 30 years was months short of his 60th birthday. It does change over time and the acute physical pain does begin to subside. I miss him every day, I imagine I always will but I no longer cry every day. I'm able to function and have a productive and yes, a happy life. I will never "get over" losing my husband and my life has sure changed. But you won't always be the way you are now and that is what I needed to know in the beginning. God Bless and try to find peace in the moments of your life. Take good care of yourself.
roxanne809
roxanne809
My heart goes out to you. I wish there were some words to help, but words seem so empty when I know the extreme pain and sadness that you are feeling. Just know you are not alone, and there are many here who care. You will get through this; it just takes time, lots of time. Roxanne
How
How
My wife died on the 8th we were together 34 years. I loved her and still do. The pain of our losses is beyond most peoples understanding. Even though are spouses were unique and loved in a special way their are certain people who can truely know the deep nagging pain. Those are the few I would trust with my feelings. Dwight
emerald15
emerald15
I am so sorry you lost your dear wife. I just sincerely wish you moments of relief from your raw pain and heartache now, and just know that in time, minutes, hours, days, months, you will survive emotionally and spiritually. Just keep the good memories of your life together, it is comforting and a gift of love together in your marriage and life.
Hugs, sunflowers,
Nanette
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