God is indeed merciful. I was living in an apartment when my husband passed. I enjoyed the ability of being able to move at will as well as always having things taken care of simply by dialing a telephone number. Nevertheless, after he passed, I purchased a townhome. I love it, but I miss being able to move when I want to move.

At first I thought of getting a condo, but changed my mind after reading about how whole buildings were emptying out, leaving the few who remained to struggle through. There was even one about a high-rise with only one occupant in the whole building. It was a family and they were terrified. That's when I decided to get a townhome. If people move out I could still live here. My association takes care of the snow removal and gardening. And I have land where I can plant tomatoes and such. I get to know my neighbors too because it's a small community. I was able to knock on a door when I accidentally locked myself out.

I understand what you mean about the care of a single family house. I'm not getting any younger and wouldn't want to take on that kind of responsibility.

I understand how you feel. It seems that after I lost my husband and as I become older, the less I want to contend with.

The market here is not good unless you are giving the property away.

You could put it on the market and see what happens, but make sure you'd be in a financial position to move, possibly take over another mortgage or be mortgage free, and take on the expenses of a new place. Unless you are going to rent, any size house is going to need upkeep and repairs.

Good luck.

I live about an hour and 45 minutes from my family. I am not ready to move right now, but my plans...plans can change, are to move in about 3 years. I will either get a condo or rent an apartment. I haven't decided which and will make that decision when the time comes. I am finished going through my husband things and tomorrow morning a niece is coming to take a dining table, 4 chairs, settee, roll top desk, and garment rack. I am trying to start downsizing and will do more next year and the year after that. I have a smaller dining set that I am going to move into the dining room.

I have pretty much decided that I am selling my house. My husband & I were planning to move any ways, so now I will move by myself. It really stinks, looking for a new house that is not anything like what we had planned on getting. But to stay here might just be the death of me. I spent the weekend trimming & weeding & cutting & pruning. It was exhausting. Not to mention how each item I did, only reminded me of my husband. He took great pride in his yard & his garden. I try my best to keep it up but it is really hard. I'm certainly not getting younger, haha. So please don't feel bad about moving. Sometimes we really have to do what we know is for the best, not matter how much it hurts. I know I will miss this house. Our children were all raised here & my husband & I practically redid the house ourselves. I can only hope that a new family will buy this house & enjoy it as much as we did.

I know how much everything cost to upkeep an aging house, that is why I am selling it. Moving by yourself is really tough. It took me months to do and I still have the garage to clean out.

I understand fully! Each month, I have a mortgage and no full time job . I actually have the summer off from my part-time job before starting my apprenticeship in September. each month I have more to pay with running and up keeping this house then what coms in on my widow pension. I am trying to pay down as much of my mortgage as I possibly can and not dip into my little security blanket too much for the next 2 years . By then my DD will be moving out and I will know more where my life is heading . The thing is that I feel safe physically here and hate the thought of moving if I don`t have to.

In the fullness of time you will sell - all the stressing in the world will not make that happen faster, so just let it go for the moment. The market will get better - it always does. Could you get a decent boarder meanwhile?

I will ultimately move too. I have a too big home for me now , but I love my town and my neighbors. It's a close community and I have a good friend here. And my brother is just an hour away. But I'm not getting younger and I know someday, it will be too much. So I'm slowly going through each room and paring down...getting rid of stuff I never use. Also knowing what furniture I'll leave behind. When I do decide to sell, I want to be prepared and not freak over all the stuff I have to get rid of. Then there's the stress I know will come...always some repair ,keeping it pristine for potential showings, packing all by myself, arranging a moving co. Not to mention "what if they back out at the closing?" It happens. But if I wait until I'm 75' I may be too tired to be able to do it. Plus I'd move out of state to be with my best friend, even though I don't like where she lives. But at some point it's more about being with good support rather than where. But it may never happen. I may just end up here. And I really don't want to live a long time alone. I can only continue this busy busy fighting the loneliness emptiness for so long. It gets old. I have no children...but a few good friends. Friendship is very important especially as we age and are alone.

I totally understand you're concerns. My husband and I downsized a meer two years before he was diagnosed with lung cancer and I have been thankful ever since. I support your decision and pray you will find the right one for you. Sharon

Once again y'all have shown me that I'm not alone on this journey. I've been struggling to make the decision to move to a new home. When Capri got too sick to work we rented a house in the city close to my work so I could get home quickly if needed. I used to have a 1-1.5 hr commute. Making that 10 minutes turned out to be very important, especially in the last 2-3 months of her life. We only lived here a few months, no real roots put down but the decision to move away has been a tough one. Three months after she died I put in an offer on a house but I just couldn't go thru with it and retracted and extended my lease. I couldn't leave the place she died that soon. My agent and my landlord were so understanding, unexpected but so appreciated. I came to the realization that leaving here will be hard but, to move forward, I have to. I understand now that leaving here won't steal the memories we made here or any other place we lived during our life together. I am still searching myself for the hope and excitement of something new that we always had when we moved to a new place.

I looked where you are from - and we are from the same area. Boy have we had the rain lately - every night it seems.

I finally had to break down and get a new roof last year. Thank goodness - it never would have gotten thru this winter. I am also underwater in my mortgage.

But my roof was almost 20 years old. Are you saying your roof is only 5 years old? If so - I cannot believe you need a new roof. I have had so many people try to scam me since my husband died - they are all over the place.

Get some more estimates on prices. I just had some work done last week. Four windows replaced, water hooked up to frig, garbage disposal fixed (did that for free), and paneling put in kitchen - all for $360. First guy quoted me about $1500.

It wasn't my roof. We had one put on about 5 years ago. I have a side entrance to my home and over the front door that extends from the house needs repair.

Contact your local senior center...and get some information on people who help seniors out - local contractors through some of those sr organizations find out help with lower prices also....Also contact local churches that have deacons that get together to help.

Our local Lions club had the local young mens church group take off the old roofing materlal than the men from the Lions put the roof back together all the widow had to do is provide the materials....It make take some time to track down those good people but they are out there...